Well, if anyone bothers to read this, please don't disregard it because of my age . I really don't know, and I hope if somebody has an idea of what I am going through, they will tell me. Recently, I've noticed my mood swings. For the past few months, at least. I first didn't pay attention. Many females have mood swings when they're on their period, so I thought it was that. Except, you don't PMS three+ months straight. They get worse and worse. Something small triggers it, and during that phase (Which hasn't lasted more than two hours yet) I don't see any light. There's no need to live, nobody cares about me. And nothing at all matters. I want to hurt myself. Occasionally, I've had panic attacks in this "phase" And then, I just...snap out of it. I see everything in a realistic perspective. I still have problems in this phase, I still cry, but I think, I can be happy, and even when I'm crying, I know my life is worth it and it will get better. When I'm in this phase, I CAN'T see it. I don't know how to cope. I'm affecting people around me. My girlfriend, she tries to help, but I know if I don't improve, I'll ruin our lovely relationship. My parents, I made my mom cry a lot when I scratched myself to the point of bleeding in front of her while having a panic attack. I don't know what to do anymore... Please, help me if you can... I don't want to lose the people I love or cause more damage to my body.. <3
I'm not sure what you're going through, but maybe you could talk to your parents about seeing a doctor or psychiatrist. It sounds like you definitely have something going on, and if you get help you may be able to fix that. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, hope everything gets sorted out (*hug*)
I'm thinking about that. I've subtly brought it up to them before, and they think mental health issues are not really a thing and it'd get better if I prayed. They have a bad opinion on psychiatrists and therapists. However they seemed fine with the school counsellor...but it's not related to school and I don't know if she would help me. I can't go to the counsellor for a month or more, as they're super busy when school starts. Thanks...I hope so too (*hug*) A few things, I suppose. I kind of used to be one of those rich kids who got anything they wanted at a whim. (I wasn't like, bitchy or spoiled, but my family could afford all of that) And my dad switched jobs, and they pay him less, and my whole family is stressed because we are used to having so much. My social awkwardness acts up even more... In situations, I overthink everything and hate myself. My family yells at me and clearly favors me over my sister...I'm not exactly a cute, cuddly one who melts people's hearts. She fake cries, and my parent's yell...a lot. She doesn't know the depth of how it affects me, but it does. Whenever I had problems like this, I used to go to my girlfriend. And we rely on each other. Recently, I haven't been respecting her like I used to when I had to rely on her. I'm mean. It's causing strain on our relationship, and that's making it even worse.
Let me ask you something: What do you enjoy doing? I know, it seems a little odd, but there's a point to this.
I enjoy being with people, but I've never fit into a real-life community. I had my religious school, but I hated their views and I didn't like that...EC is the only place I feel I fit into, but in real life, that would be my favorite thing. I like art and music too, that's a big part of me.
