can I get an idiots guide to dating please. So yea I want to get back out there and find that one person but I've never really been to good at dating as my last realtionship was my first and it came to me. But let me back up as there are a few things that may make things a little bit more challenging. To start I have social anxieties people scare me or more or less there unpredictable do I don't like the feeling of not being in control as it freaks me out to no end now I understand that this is something that needs to be worked on and I have been working on it my entire life but it still gets in the way sometimes. Aside from that I have self image issues that are getting better but like above it still gets in the way. But aside from all of that i know I'm worth something to someone out there either man or woman I just have to find him or her. But to get back on track I guess to start. How do you ask someone out and where do you go and what do you do once said person has agreed to a date with you? Any help would be great and thanks for reading.
There's a thread from February called the Do's and Don'ts of online dating that has a lot of useful tips in the Coming Out Advice section. Beyond that, it's just about meeting people and seeing where it leads you. The control issue will need to be worked on. A relationship is give & take and supporting the other person.
Here's your guide. It's an excellent post; if you're a bit short on time you might want to focus on the last bits, which are specifically about asking a person out. My personal advice... Once you've met someone you'd like to ask out, flirt a little and see if they're receptive. By flirt I mean eye contact, making them laugh, and maybe (if they're receptive) touching their arm or something. Then ask for their number and ask if they're free on X day (or ask if they're free, then ask for their number if they say yes -- the order doesn't really matter). You can ask to "hang out," or you can outright suggest what you have in mind (coffee, a concert, whatever). Coffee is a safe bet for a first date -- if it goes well, you can always go for a walk or a movie, and if it doesn't, you won't have emptied your wallet and you have a ready-made excuse to leave (you've finished your coffee!). However, if this is someone you already know you get along with, you can go for a full-blown meal, play tennis together, whatever. Careful with movies -- while nice, they don't allow for much conversation, so if you go watch a movie, grab something to eat afterward. And the upside is, you'll have more than enough conversation fodder -- you just have to share impressions on the movie. When they've agreed to a date, you say "Great! See you on Xday, then." You text a day or two before the date, to make sure they're still up for it. And then you go out and have fun. And chill. Dates are fun. They don't have to lead to a relationship, and if they don't, doesn't mean they were a fail. You can make friends this way, too.
Thank you for they advise everyone I'll hopefully be able to put some of it to good use in the coming days. As for my control issues looking back on what I wrote earlier it makes me sound like I'm a control freak which I'm not I just don't like the feeling of not being in control i don't know how to explane it any how I agree I need more work on it.
