I just started going out with guys a couple of months ago and when I started coming out to people (still haven't told any of my family or more conservative friends), they would keep telling me that it was a surprise since I act straight. A couple of gay people I know told me that that was a bad thing. I mean, I guess I'm just not entirely comfortable with being gay yet, but is it wrong that I may not be as flamboyant as other people? Also, any dating advice? I'm kind of at a loss here.
Do you feel like you're acting or it's just the way you are? The gay couple you mentioned gave really bad opinion. It's totally fine if you're not flamboyant. (And you wouldn't believe how often no-fem on dating sites) As for dating advice, we actually have a guide for that http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...king-relationship-simpler-than-you-think.html
I don't understand you as i'm not a gay guy who acts straight but I do understand you if it's turned around. Noone and I mean NOONE suspects that I love women.. only the people with good ''gaydar'' can tell.. it should be pretty obvious because my heart basically drops when a cute girl is around.. i'm like a lovestruck kitten :lol: I guess all you can really do is go to gay bars or try be more open about your sexuality? Get a pride bracelet or necklace or something? I'm considering getting a necklace with the female symbols intertwined myself. That's all the advice I got really!
Yes, it is completely wrong! Gay it up immediately! Do you think it's an act or do you think it's just how you are? If it's an act, I suggest you start doing you and care less how you appear. If you feel comfortable acting, then keep doing it, noone can judge you, right?
Considering there is not such a thing as 'acting straight' no, it's absolutely normal to be who you are. Gay does not equal to feminine and flamboyant, it's a cliché and a very bad one. Can't believe your gay friends told you that was a bad thing. ( you may wanna reconsider your friendship with them tbh) I am bi, so should I act half-butch half-feminine to please both or what's the deal ? All those clichés are stupid and detrimental to the LGBT community and even more so when it comes from LGBT members themselves. There is no good way to be gay, just be yourself and stick to people that appreciate you for who you are and not for who they wish you were. Good luck !
Well it depends, are you actually acting straight? i came out to my bud 4 days ago and he was also surprised because i'm not look or act gay (i'm not sure whether there is a gay way to look or act anyway ). I just told him that this is me, Even though that i'm gay doesn't mean that i have to follow common paradigm about gay guys around here which says that gay guys are supposed to be a bit femme or somewhere along that line which is the common belief here, that's just not me, and i refuse to act or behave that way. if its your regular behavior then nothing is wrong, its just who you are and you entitled to behave that way. Because some gay guys looks just as ordinary or as masculine as straight guys(*hug*)(*hug*)
For everyone I came out to they were surprised since I could pass for being straight. I'm not forcing myself to act straight, it's just who I am. If anything, I'd be forcing myself to act more flamboyant to appear gay.
Hello JustStartingOut, Welcome to EC! If you are gay, it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to act in a way considered flamboyant. Of course, if you act that way, it is totally ok too, but if you don't, that's also fine. You are who you are, and being LGBT doesn't change the way you act. For instance, i'm bisexual, but i hate pop music, i love metal, i almost always wear black clothes, i'm really serious (most of the time), etc. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is quite stereotypical: He loves pop, he is more sentimental, etc. We are who we are. Being gay means you are attracted to people of the same sex, nothing more. Personality and the way you act aren't related to orientation. They aren't well informed. As for dating, the guide Kinky mentioned is quite useful. Hugs (*hug*)
Nawww, dun think ya have to act a certain way just from bein' gay. Th'way I see it, is for me, I'm gay, but that's all it is. I'm a guy who happens t'like guys. It doesn't make who I am or anythin', It's just my sexuality.
I'm also like that. It's not acting, it's the way you are. The nasal, whiny stereotypes are jealous of our masculinity :icon_wink all my friends were really surprised when they found out about me and all the guys who took an interest in me complimented me for my masculinity. One of them told me I'd make one hell of a bear when I got older :eusa_danc Just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to forcefully spread your legs wide open and flaunt it in everyone's face. It isn't ''bad'' at all. What's bad is if you intentionally try to be someone you're not or trying to give that impression. I also give the straight vibe, but that's part of me and I embrace it. Just as some twinks should embrace their painfully high, black-board scratch falsetto caterwaul (or tape their mouth shout). As for dating, if you want quick progress, start talking about (giving) rimjobs. Lots and lots of rimjobs.
Being gay or straight does not mean you have to act a certain way. I remember as a teen I was struggling with my attractions towards men and trying to find out how to be gay. I ended up acting a certain way around other gay guys my age or my friends. I developed this persona to fit in but all it did was make me feel fake and false. But the thought I got in my head that acting any other way was being in denial or it meant I wasn't gay. To be honest people are going to tell you that because it helps simplify the world for them, expecting people to behave a certain way makes things easy. But it's more complicated and a tad more gray than that. In the end just be you, because you're the person you spend the most time with. I'm slowly learning that lesson, and it's rough let me say.
Of course not, you are who you are and you act like you do, if you act "straight" then that is just how you act.
