My friend texts me all day and night long. If I don't reply within a few minutes she will keep texting me. If I still don't reply she will call me. When I don't reply she sends me irritated messages about how I didn't text her yet today or I'm not replying. I went to the movies today with another friend and she got mad I didn't reply and I was hanging out without her. She is so extremely clingy and I can't take it anymore. I want to distance myself from her because we have so little in common and we disagree on almost everything anyways. I still want to be her friend but I can't text her 24/7. She wants to hang out everyday when school starts but I am looking forward to starting college and making new friends. How do I tell her nicely to back off?
You could tell the truth but be nice about it. Hang out with her, take her to a cafe or whatever... Add that you don't want to lose her, it's that you need time for yourself. For me, being frank but nice solves most of the problems I have with people. ---------- Post added 16th Aug 2015 at 05:24 PM ---------- I don't know if I did some help, I just wanted to share my thoughts.
I want to be nice but she is making it so hard. She just showed up to my house randomly and texted me a million times. I wasn't home and she called me 4 times. I told her I'm busy but she always thinks it's just an excuse. She keeps asking where I am
I agree with ModernCat. You should have a chat with her about it. If she gets pissy or defensive, she's probably just hurt. And if she keeps being pissy about it, you'll know she's not someone to keep in your life. After all, if she can't respect even the most boundaries you set for her, how will she respect you? But yeah, try to be nice and polite about it, and use "I feel" sentences. For an example "I feel very stressed out when you text and call me all the time. I can understand you want to see me, but we can't always hang out or talk, and you have to accept that I am sometimes going to be busy or hang out with other friends." Just a suggestion. Good luck
I told her I can't talk all day every day and sometimes I'm busy and she texted me back ok, but I feel like she's upset and now I feel bad. I shouldn't because I've wanted to tell her for a long time but I still feed bad
When was the last time you hung out with her? You can try doing that and remember why both of you are friends.
It's a good thing that you told her. Good for her actually! She's the one who invests more in the relationship and unless she's super oblivious, she knows she's the one who invests more. Resentment is inevitable. If you want to remain friends, make an appointment of when to hang out (or when to text), give her a specific day, like next Friday. If you can't do that, drop the friendship. You don't want her to get even more attached by being 'nice' or uncertain. Be blunt. Note: I was the clingy one.
I hung out with her last week. I texted her but now she isn't replying so I'm just going to wait until she's not mad anymore and see what happens from there. thanks for the help!!
