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Guy keeps hitting on me, how to let him down gently?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Berru, Aug 20, 2015.

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  1. Berru

    Berru
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Viking territory
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So, I go to this social group on wednesdays, and there was this guy there who asked for my number.
    No problem, he probably just wants to be friends, right? Nnnnope!

    He's been texting me ever since with, erhm, what I like to call 'playful suggestions'...

    How do I let him down gently? This is a guy I have to see once a week, and I'd rather not things get awkward. I'm also afraid that if I take the serious approach, he might be embarrased, or worse, he might be like "I was just playing around, wtf", and I'll end up looking like the fool.

    I guess a playful approach might be the wisest. I tried last night when he asked me "Aren't I just the guy for you?"
    where I replied "yeah, if it weren't for the fact that you're a guy", to which he replied a bunch of laughing smileys. Problem solved, right? Nope.
    Today, he was at it again.

    I want to just tell him that I like girls, but he hasn't given me the opportuniy yet and I'm not out to anyone in that circle of friends yet either, sooo...
    (I'm not even sure I like girls exlusively, it's all very confusing)

    What do I do? :help:
     
    #1 Berru, Aug 20, 2015
  2. Colorora

    Colorora
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Bisexual
    Is pansexual or bisexual? I don't know any straight or gay guys that would go with a gender fluid person, because of the obvious reason that once you change from your current gender there is a good chance that that they won't still be attracted to you.

    If he's bisexual or pansexual chances are that he'll understand if you say "I'm just not sure if I'm attracted to guys. I'm sure every queer person has questioned themselves before officially identifying.

    If he's straight imform him of your gender fluidity, if he doesn't care, (once again if he doesn't care he's probably bisexual or pansexual) resort to the above statement, if all else fails, this is a situation where the famous "its not you, it's me" argument works.

    To me it's pretty foolproof, I hope this helped.
     
    #2 Colorora, Aug 20, 2015
  3. Berru

    Berru
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    Location:
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    Thanks for replying.
    He doesn't know about my genderthing, neither does anybody else in that group of friends, as I'm mostly in"girl-mode" when I'm outside.

    I tried making the "If only you weren't a guy" joke again today, but he just won't back down.

    I guess you're right though, I should tell him more firmly that I'm not into guys at the moment :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Berru, Aug 20, 2015
  4. Oh Lilac

    Oh Lilac
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    You might have it be a little more direct. You could just tell him that this really isn't your style of talk, and while he is a fun friend, you're interested in girls romantically. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Don't worry about bruising his ego... He is the one being inappropriately forward. And if he continues, just don't respond to the texts and tell him in person that you are not into it.
     
    #4 Oh Lilac, Aug 20, 2015
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