Hi, my friend's brother got into a car accident a few days ago and died. She's 28 and her brother was 27 and a mess-up. I never met the brother, but my friend talked about him every so often and how he was always in trouble, including the law. She kept saying he was going to get himself killed and now it's finally happened. I'm trying to be supportive, but I don't really know how... We're friends from work and don't get together much otherwise. She lives 45 minutes away and I've been to her house once to pick her up but I wasn't invited inside, so I don't really want to try to invite myself over or anything. I'm trying to give her some space right now. She did tell me via text about it yesterday morning before our boss emailed everyone letting them know - so I feel as though that's a good thing. Anyone else been in a similar situation?
Since you know where she lives you could send flowers or a sympathy card to her house. That's a good way to show support without being invasive.
You can try and ask her if she needs support. Ask her what your can do to help. If she doesn't want your help, then that's fine. Give her some space.
God that's so sad I am so sorry for your friends loss! I've lost an uncle I never got to meet in a car accident and a cousin when she was only 15. It's not a nice place to be in when you realise somebody you love has lost their life! I say just be there for your friend. Don't smother her with support but just let her know you're there for her! I feel for the brother because he may have had problems but there could be that possibility that if he got the right help this wouldn't have happened.
My cousin died in a seperate car accident.. In 2008 so I was only 12. She wasn't the uncle I've losts daughter she was another uncles.
Thanks guys! I feel badly because I'm not that upset and I know she is. But then again, I never knew the brother and don't know her family at all so I'm sort of removed from it. I think I'll keep letting her know I'm thinking of her but giving her space at the same time. And perhaps a card or flowers to the house is a good idea (I don't remember the address but may be able to look it up).
I think that the best thing that you can do is be there for your friend if she needs to talk. You could always send her a card and include a note saying if she needs anything, do not hesitate to contact you.
