In the Fall I will be attending a nursing program and have some concerns about being a nurse in the future and maintaining a private life. I am comfortable with being a lesbian and have a great community of people around me. Where I live we have an aging population so my chances of interacting with older adults is very likely. While this most likely won't happen very often, sometimes old ladies and men like to get to know nurses or make comments. Such comments could be "Do you have a boyfriend," nudge nudge, or "Your husband must be one lucky guy". I have had older ladies tease me about boys in the past before I was out. So how do you tell a person/patient/client etc in a very polite way you do not wish to discuss your personal life? I prefer to be light-hearted about everything, however maybe that's not the best way. I don't want to sound angry or rude either. I know that telling them the truth about my relatioship status may ruin my career or get me in trouble. While I am pretty protected up here in Canada, remember nurses often have physical contact with patients (e.g. helping them in the bathroom, dressing wounds, catheters). If they accuse me of sexual assault (some associate homosexuality with sexual perversion and rapists) my career in nursing would be over. So before I even start my first day in the classroom, I want to make sure I have some prep for the future.
Honestly, I don't think you'll run into issues. My mother was a nurse and whenever the people she took cared of made comments about her personal life she just shrugged it off. Obviously, some are going to be more persistent than others but it shouldn't pose much of a problem. Just nod and smile!
Hi there! First off, good luck with your education and pursuing a nursing career. I can certainly empathize, as in my own line of work, I have to balance my privacy and my professional life, as sometimes, I do find myself sharing aspects of my life experiences with the very people that I see/help. Thus far, and when it has come up, I have responded in general terms. For example, I had once or twice where someone asked me about whether I'm married or have children. My response to it was: "no, not yet, as I haven't found the right partner yet." It ended that part of the conversation. It is the case that sometimes the people that you care for, will want to get to know you a bit better as it makes them more comfortable. However, I don't think you have much to worry about because the situations themselves will give you the clues on how you can answer a more personal/private question. It is possible that you will be helping elderly who have LGBTQ* family members, or grandchildren. In many respects, coming into the field of nursing with a different understanding of the world, and how you see yourself in that world, can be a plus. Health authorities across Canada, do encourage LGBTQ* to apply to job opportunities. There have been some studies and reports on caring for LGBTQ* elderly and some of the things that could be done to improve care for them as they are facing marginalization at times. I imagine that in a few years from now, someone who comes to the field with a different world view, knows about some of the care issues facing LGBTQ* will probably do quite well. I'm sure that the nursing program will also help you to prepare for different situations and how you can navigate through them.
I think you could always shrug off these comments. I would encourage you to not always do so though. I'm in banking. How much more irrelevant could my sexual orientation be, right? I remember I had a client, an older woman, who kept asking about my relationship status. Was I married? Nope--I'm not. Did I have a girlfriend? Nope--I didn't. I'm pretty open with most of my clients, but with her it never quite seemed to come up organically and the persistent questions sort of put me on my guard. Finally it came up enough that I just leveled with her. I don't have a girlfriend, because I'm gay and I have a male partner. We've been together for fifteen years (this was a couple years back) and we're very happy. I sort of braced myself for the response and you know what she said? "Oh thank God! You're such a nice young man and I hated the idea of you being alone. I used to worry about it a lot and I'm so glad you have someone." Sometimes people aren't just nosy, sometimes they really just care.
