Ok so to make a long story short I'm a 25 year old man who started crossdressing when i was 12, and did so on and off until my early 20's, where I started doing it more and more often, and tried a lot harder to look female, and have struggled with the thoughts of "am i supposed to be female?" And for a while I was seriously pursuing a life of presenting as female, and was going to seek professional counseling on whether or not I should actually transition from male to female. For a while that was what I really wanted. My friends were all supportive at the time, I even had a girlfriend who was very supportive, but she has since dumped me, and life has become busy and complicated to the point where I don't have the energy to try to make the world see me as female instead of male. It's just easier to where jeans and a t shirt and go along with how other people see me. I'm currently in a relationship with a women with whom I have a child, and since my fiance is straight as an arrow and only attracted to men, I've been living as male. And I've mostly been ok with that because I really feel like this is the person I'm meant to share my life with. The issue I'm having now is I keep dreaming about crossdrssing. I had two dreams last night actually. In the firSt i went to walgreens, and of course they sell make up aND apparently we're selling women's clothes as well. So i was desperately trying to put on the clothes and makeup and make myself look as female as possible before anyone could realize I had come into the store as a male. In the second dream I had two new friends, no one that I recognized from waking life, who caught on to me wearing my girlfriends bra and stocking under my work clothes, and my ex roommate was there too, and he was like "yeah i never quite got used to seeing him come out of his room with all that makeup and stuff on" but the new friends were very cool and accepting of the whole thing. What does this mean? Is my feminine self trying to come back to the surface? And if it is, can I really risk jeopardizing the relationship i have with this amazing woman? I just don't know what to do
