Hey. Wasn't sure where else to post this. I've tried other social anxiety forums but not finding a lot of help there. I've had anxiety issues since I was probably in high school. Anxiety runs in my family. So I think even if I wasn't LGBT, I'd probably have problems with it anyway. I guess I've managed but now it's getting to the point where it's getting to be a huge problem. It's other people that I really have problems dealing with. And I honestly don't hate people. I want to have friends, want to have a community, and to be honest, I actually really hate being introverted. But being around other people kind of scares me. When I was going to community college, I'd usually walk around campus with my headphones in so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone else. I avoided groups and events and didn't make any friends in the two years I attended that school. The only extra-curricular I did was join the school paper staff and it was probably the closest I ever got to making friends or talking to people. I had to conduct interviews but I'd do whatever I could to avoid them, to the point where I was rarely writing anything for the paper. In my old hometown, I did go to a trans support group and I actually did get along with a lot of the people there. It was the one place where I didn't feel like I had to look over my shoulder and I was rarely misgendered by anyone. Part of the problem with other people is I don't know how people are going to react when they find out I'm trans or whether or not they'll gender me correctly in the first place. My voice is too high. I look too androgynous. I moved down to California earlier this year. I don't like leaving the house. In fact, I specifically looked for freelance work so I wouldn't have to out myself or deal with other people on a regular basis. Hell, I rarely go anywhere without my boyfriend. i avoid people who come over to the house, especially without notice. The last time I tried being social with guests, who happened to be the family of our new roommate, the roommate's mom asked if I was the "daughter". And the last time I went over to one of my boyfriend's school friend's house, I was ignored the whole time and it felt like everyone was gawking at me like I was some zoo animal. Half the time, I don't trust people. Are they going to misgender me again? Am I going to be stared at? What are people going to do when they find out? It's not even just me worrying if I'll be treated like crap for being trans. I worry all the time that people think I'm boring and stupid. I've been anxious for a long time but it's gotten even worse over the last couple of years. I was sexually assaulted. It's gotten to the point where I sometimes cringe if my boyfriend touches me when I'm not expecting it and I hate going anywhere by myself. How do I get over it and start being okay with people again?
First you need to relax. Sure, not everyone is accepting in the world, but more people are becoming so. You need to increase your self confidence so you can get to the point where you won't care what other people think. This is what is holding you back. Being an introvert does not hold you back from a social life! Many introverts can appear to be extroverted on the outside. You need to challenge yourself into public speaking, talking to strangers, etc. push yourself outside of your comfort zone. This is the important rule to remember for introverts struggling with anxiety. People will love you for who you are. Who you are to them, is how you appear to them. But if you don't appear at all... Well that's not getting you anywhere. Take a chance, I believe in you!
