I've been imagining rejection from the queer community that hasn't actually happened. In real life I haven't had much contact with the queer community. I tried making contact, but they were way too flaky. In my head I keep imagining reasons why the queer community might reject me. Those reasons include being awkward, not seeming queer enough, being confused about my sexuality, having certain hobbies and seeming too naive. All this is making me depressed. It's also interfering with my hobbies. I'm not consciously trying to avoid them, but I notice that I do them less when I'm more troubled about this. I think I'm imagining these scenarios because of bad coming out experiences and jerks on reddit.
You are the most nerve-racked person I've encountered in a while. I don't say that to insult you but to let you know, a lot of what you focus on, ironically, is why those things seem to have more sway than they do. That said... I have to ask, how were they flaky? As Maddy said, everybody can be awkward... just some of us tend to be more so than others. Trust me, you find a confident person, give me 5 minutes, I'll tell you where to take them and what to do to break that confidence. "Not queer enough", well, this one may have some truth to it. Especially for women who come out late or are bisexual, but really, you don't want to be around folks who would hold these against you anyway. It's really a favor being thrown at you. Being confused about your sexuality, 95% of the queer community was as well, so if they hold this against you, fuck them -- and not in the good way! Most people experience a little confusion due to the expectation that, by default, we're all heterosexual. Again, you don't want to be around folks who would hold this against you anyway. Unless your hobbies are killing children or torturing the elderly, I don't think you'll be dismissed due to your hobbies. But you have me curious, and if you would be willing, some examples would be nice... Too naive? Like with being awkward, everybody can be naive. Put me in a Mathematics class, I'll look like a total idiot. You overcome being naive by learning, experiencing and, hopefully, making bonds with good folks. Bad experiences do have a strong hold on a lot of what we do and think, so this is understandable. But when you have a positive experience, you'll have an easier time realizing, nothing is quite black and white. Also, pro-tip, Tumblr/Reddit are not authorities on anything. Sure, some of the information and media can be wonderful, but take the rest with a grain of salt. If I judged the world by what I see on Tumblr/Reddit, it would be absolutely fucking horrible to wake up, LOL.
You're not alone! I feel this way sometimes too! not everyone will fit the LGBT+/queer stereotypes. I know that I don't. Maybe in some places, but people don't bat an eye, cause I've always been weird. You just have to find the right friend in the Qcommuntiy. Other people will understand you! Also, you're not the only one dealing with sexuality questioning! Take your time, because these matters are important to figure out correctly. Remember, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LABEL IT. Just saying, "questioning", "queer", or something unbrella along those lines, is fine.
They kept moving and canceling meetings. It made it impossible for me to go to them. When I did arrive everyone obviously knew each other and didn't make any effort to include anyone.
haha, i'd agree with what Kaiser said. yea, some groups can be like that. I'm pretty sure it's not the only group, especially when you're there for a certain amount of time. it takes time to warm up, so don't take anything too personal. it takes time to build up a connection, relationship, or however you may seem this group to be. if you find it to be a bit too shaky, then you can find another. no biggie.
The queer community doesn't just exist where you live. It's worldwide and it's vast and complex and diverse. I promise that there is a small group of people in this big community who will embrace you... that's all you need. We're all just scared, you need to find a friend who you connect with Stay on the sunny side.
