I have very recently come out and have never been in a gay relationship of any kind. The most that has happened is just checking out other guys and very rarely exchanging glances, but I have never pursued anything. I am looking to meet people now but really have no clue as to how to go about it. I know this may not be true, but I feel like a lot of gay men have figured it out by the time they go to college, or work through it there. I feel like there is more of an opportunity in that environment to meet people who are going through something similar. I'm not really into the bar scene and I don't have many gay friends to go out with so I am feeling kind of intimidated. To be honest, i'm also not really interested in just hooking up with someone without establishing at least some sort of relationship beforehand. Since I am so new to everything, I am just looking to take things slowly. Are there any good ways to meet other gay men and at least establish some friendships in the post college adult world?
Classes are, indeed, an easy way to meet people - whether other gay men themselves, or people who know them. But, college being over doesn't mean that you can't take classes - you could sit in on classes at your old school, or take classes elsewhere in anything you might be interested in - through museums, community centers, writing groups, and so on. Otherwise, look for other things to get involved in. Is there an LGBT community center nearby? Do they need volunteers? If so, give it a shot. Other organizations - film festivals, pride celebrations, and so on, could also be good places to volunteer.
I was almost in the exact situation as you were when I first came out. You could try going to a local LGBT center. They have some stuff that might be able to cater to what you're looking for. If that doesn't work out, then maybe having something of a common hobby might be pretty good. there might be an LGBT group of gamers, comic nerds, or even gym rats. I feel that starting out on online dating apps might not be a good idea. there's all kinds of individuals that might give you the wrong idea about the LGBT community in general. there's a lot more then to just fucking. Not everybody starts out too young. I'm not much of a bar scene kind of guy as well, and I also didn't have any gay friends to start out with until I start looking for options there. I'm at a better place then I was when I first came out and became new to everything.
This was actually a topic that I was going to get around to making a post about eventually, but I see you beat me to the punch! I knew I was gay in college, but I couldn't bring myself to act upon it either. I received my degree in February, but I didn't come out of the closet until May. I look back now and see a bunch of missed opportunities where I could have changed my life for the better in college. I was a commuter, though, so it was a bit more difficult to make and stick to having friends, regardless of their orientation. In my search for finding a partner: I had confided in a bi friend that told me to make an account on an app the moment I told him i was gay. Still new to the community, I didn't really know what it was so I happily created it. To make a long story short and after many a dirty picture, it really ended up not being what a shy person coming out to friends for the first time needed or was looking for.. So I'm still a bit weary about how I approach things.. This site seems to be the safest site I've felt on in a while though so cheers to that. Anyway, I'm not a bar type much either and I, too, am having some issues on trying to figure out where I can meet like-minded individuals. I might try and go look up some LGBT centers in the area as the both of you suggested, though, so thank you. Also doing research on my old college to find out no mention of a LGBT friendly club or association, which I find odd and actually kind of sad.
It depends where you are. The closer you are to a big city, the more likely it is that there will be an LGBT population to connect with. There are often networking groups or social/cultural events if you're not into the bar scene. It also helps to be out to friends, even your straight friends. Making connections who are friends of friends can really help. And that's all keeping it platonic. If you're interested in meeting people romantically, online dating (not using a hookup app) is probably your best bet. Worked for me
