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I am afraid of looking like I'm trying to be a stereotype

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Awesome, Aug 30, 2015.

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  1. Awesome

    Awesome
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    Last year I switched schools from a pretty homophobic school to a very welcoming to LGBT+ people. At the beginning of last year, I decided that that would be the year I would be open about my sexuality, and I abandoned lying about it. However, the new school was significantly less gossipy than my old school, and in turn, no one asked me about my sexual orientation. I told some people, and now I think I am sort of half-out at school.

    This summer, I got a short haircut for the first time since I was in kindergarten. I did this for a few reasons. It was mostly because I associated my former hairstyle (pulled back in a poofy ponytail with a hairband) with being miserably tired and overworking myself with homework because my whole reason for that hairstyle was being practical. I never did like how it looked, but I was very tired and just wanted my hair out of the way. I also wanted to be a bit spontaneous for once and try something different.

    This year, my senior year of high school, I plan to be more open about my sexuality, now that I am more confident with it. I might even join GSA. I am afraid that people will think that my new haircut is me trying to look more queer. That is not at all true. I am not trying to become a stereotype. I couldn't convince anyone at my old school that I was straight, with longer hair. The more I learn about lesbian stereotypes, the more I feel that I look and act a lot like a stereotype. I am not trying to. How can I make it clear that I am not trying to fit into a stereotype, that I am just being myself?
     
    #1 Awesome, Aug 30, 2015
  2. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    I think you just need to look at it differently. Forget the stereotypes and how other people see you. You are just looking the way you want to look.
    Also, if you saw a lesbian with a short haircut, maybe a denim vest or flannel, some vans, would you think, "She's just trying to look gay"? Probably not. You'd just see them and think they're being themselves.
    I totally understand this because I'm experiencing something similar. I just came out to a lot of my friends, and I've also started dressing more guyish. I constantly worry that they think I'm just trying to look gay. And now I'm even worried to wear a dress tomorrow because they've gotten used to me dressing guyishly! It's kind of ridiculous to worry about those things if you think about it though. I mean, if you knew me you probably wouldn't think I was trying to look gay, or that wearing a dress was suddenly bad because now I'm "the girl who dresses like a lesbian". It's all in your head. If you just go on wearing what you want because you like it and not thinking too hard, you'll be fine and I doubt others will think the things you think they will. It's your hair and your clothes and your life:slight_smile: I mean our bodies are just like temporary frames for our souls so who cares what clothes you wear or what length your hair is?
    Just do you:slight_smile:
     
    #2 bubbles123, Aug 30, 2015
  3. Oddsocks

    Oddsocks
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    As someone who accidentally embodies half the list of lesbian stereotypes (short hair, guy's clothes a lot of the time, 0% makeup, ambiguous gender identity), my advice is just to do what makes you happy! Most people won't be weird about it anyway if my experience is anything to go by (I got the "Did you cut your hair because you're a lesbian now?" question a grand total of once at my school).

    Also, for what it's worth, 'looking gay' has its perks - I discovered that I became kind of a beacon for other lesbians and made a bunch of friends that way, haha.

    Short hair is comfy, low-maintenance and looks awesome - I don't doubt you look great! I second everything Bubbles123 said: just do you. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Oddsocks, Aug 31, 2015
  4. Awesome

    Awesome
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    Thank you both for your replies. It sounds like you guys are saying that I shouldn't worry about what others think of how I dress and act. I feel like I just needed to be reminded of that again. At my old school, I was always proud to be "that weird kid who doesn't care what others think of her", but when I went to a new school, I realized that I really did care what others thought of me.
     
    #4 Awesome, Aug 31, 2015
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