Well, here goes. I have several problems that seem to work against me. First of all, I am very socially awkward, I have a disease called Asperger's (which i absolutely hate), i am by no means attractive, I am completely closeted, My personal history was awful (resulting in several fears). This is just some of it. I have been suffering from severe loneliness, self hatred, and overall sadness. I really want to fix it, however in my current location, region, any my issues that plague me, i feel lost and stuck. i want to go and make friends, but its sooo hard for me, which makes me feel like getting a partner will be impossible. I am getting professional help, but progress has been extremely slow. I could use some advice on moving, coping, managing my problems, or even simply making it easier to get through day by day.
How long have you been receiving the professional support? It sounds like it is helping a little bit, even if the progress is slow. When you are struggling with something, or things it's normal to want quick solutions, so you can begin to move on, but a quick fix is very often a temporary fix that brings no long term gain. It's usually better to stay the course if you are receiving support and talk about the lack of progress, if you are concerned.
I have/am facing many similar issues. I am extremely shy (although I haven't been tested for it, I probably am diagnosable for Asperger's or some other kind of autism spectrum disorder). In addition to recommending that you continue to utilize professional help and accepting gradual progress, is to target your developing social life around some specific activities which you really enjoy. For instance, in addition to being very socially anxious, I don't enjoy many common social activities that others do, but I do usually enjoy playing board/card/party games with others. So I searched meetup.com for a meetup for people to play games, and found a nearby weekly meetup of gaymers. Because I'm extremely socially anxious, I was terrified of going at first, but after going for several months I now enjoy it. On a dating/social website, I modified my profile to express my interest in playing games, and I recently made a friend out of the blue. Yet again, I was terrified at first (I'm not sure why I decided to post that anonymously), but each time I was more comfortable meeting him for games. So my advice is to identify what activity/activities you enjoy, find others who enjoy them, and face the initial anxiety head on. The last part is much easier said than done, but the reward is often worth it. I'm also in the same boat with you regarding not being attractive (at least by the standards of most people). I don't know if you are overweight or not, but if that's partially, or mostly due to being overweight, therapy can really help with that. I've found that once underlying mental health issues (such as depression), getting yourself into better shape is a lot easier.
Perhaps you could create a group. For instance, if you like playing board games, you could create a group on meetup.com for local people to play board games, and meet at a restaurant. I'm betting that that's outside of your comfort zone, and it's definitely outside of my comfort zone, but it's something to think about. Also, if you're the one creating the group, you could take steps to ensure that a$$holes/homophobes stay out (for instance, making it a gaymer meetup, although you'd run the risk of having no one show up). Even if only two others show up for a group you've created for some activity you enjoy, that's a more than not meeting anyone. And a few members may be enough to get the group successfully started. According to the wikipedia page on Asheville, there are almost a half million people in your area. Chances are if you try enough to put yourself out there (which I know can be extremely difficult), you will probably find friends with common interests.
