I am 19 and I live at home. I have a secret boyfriend who is 28 years old, so, he's older... He have had sex every time we met, we met on ******... But I feel guilty about it. I know of it were a girl and I were straight, I wouldn't feel this way... Is there any legitimate reason to feel this way? I was raised Christian but my parents are tolerant of gay people, but I'm still in the closet to them, and out to my friends and some cousins . I used to be homophobic when I was 14-17 when I was confused. I had told used that if I was gay, I'd kill myself, but I accepted myself when I was 18... Please help
It's not an unusual experience. Even though you say your Christian parents are tolerant of gay people there are other influences that are not sending you the same message. My parents are mostly tolerant of gay people however I was affected by hateful messages I heard in the media. I believe what you experienced was internal homophobia. Here is a short explanation here The Rainbow Project: Internalised Homophobia Have you thought of joining an LGBT group in your area? I felt weird about being queer years ago. When I joined a group in university it seemed less weird and I felt more confident in who I am.
What you're feeling is totally legitimate as explained by sweetfemme90. Have you tried talking it out with your partner? I know it can be terrifying to talk about personal hangups with someone you are intimate with, but he may be able to offer you the support you are looking for. I used to be in the same boat. It does get better with time, honesty, and patience.
I feel guilty for having gay sex and that I'm not a virgin anymore... I was raised being taught that I'm supposed to wait until marriage to have sex... I'm just never happy any more
