I have recently come out and have never been in a relationship, but am looking to move in that direction. I know that I am not someone who would enjoy the hook up scene. There is nothing wrong with it, and my feelings on the matter might change, but right now I know it isn't right for me. As I am newly out, I don't have many gay friends to network with for potential boyfriends. I am thinking of giving some form of online dating a try. I really have only found one mobile app for gay dating that avoids the hook up side of things as part of its mission statement. I haven't really looked into other sites but I am willing to look into other options. Does anyone have experience with this or have any suggestions to offer? Any dos and don'ts? I want to start meeting people and I think that this might be my best bet.
You have joined a Dating Site, a guy messages you and expresses interest or vice versa. Not what? First have you two been clear on what you guys want? Is he also one of those looking for love/friends? Does his wants and your wants jive? Realistically speaking most guys on gay dating sites are after hook-ups. But that is not to say there aren’t anyone out there who has similar intent as you and that is to find a partner or a friend. Just be clear on that then proceed. Get to know each other, gauge whether you have anything in common. It may also help to gauge by his history there in the dating site. Did he have a lot of hook-ups? did he make friends? did he find dates, a boyfriend? The worst thing you can do at this point is to move too fast. Moving too fast can set you up for getting hurt in the long run. You’re new to the online dating thing so are prone to hasty infatuation, an idealist bound for impulsivity. Therefor before you begin to declare love, figuratively. First see if there is more to him than his online persona. After all online profiles are made to be ideal, persons edit their responses to messages just to sound like “the right one”. So instead of asking him out on a date why not talk on the phone first? Talking on the phone and texting/messaging are two different things. When you talk it's spontaneous, there is less room for editing unlike in texts/messages. See if you two can carry a conversation well and if he makes time for you. Are there a lot of dead air in the conversation? If there is you might want to back peddle a little. That connection might not be that strong a connection after all. Instead of talking on the phone or even after it, you may even engage in Skype calls or cam-to-cam conversations. You’ll be surprised as to the number of fake accounts out there waiting to catfish unsuspecting individuals. If in the case everything turns out good. Then by all means ask him out on a date or who knows he might be the one to ask you out. Just be sure it is somewhere public and not like his house, his condo, his apartment, his room... you don't want to get yourself into an unnecessary situation where you have a hard time getting out just in case things don't work out. You don't want to be pressured into things. I wish you the best of luck and may you find love.
Just remember not to meet up with strangers online with out first video chatting with them somehow. You can use things like skype, oovoo, and tiny chat. Another thing to keep in mind is that you should probably meet up in a well lit, public area. And I agree with everything Blue787Bunny said.
I would definitely state somewhere in your profile you are interested in a relationship. I would take some nice photos of yourself as well. Make sure if you go somewhere to meet someone online that you tell someone where you're going (e.g. room mate, friend), this is for your safety. Also when going on dates make sure you use seperate transportation from your date, so bring your own car to drive only yourself to and from the date. Definitely use protection if you end up having sex on a date. Not sure where you live but consider joining groups in your area (e.g. university group, pride comittee, etc). You will have a chance to meet gay people and not only meet them but maybe meet their other gay friends who are not part of those groups as well. I would do this along side of the online dating.
This 100%! You definitely have to have use some form of chat before meeting anyone, especially from dating sites. There's so many people on those sites that pretend to be someone they're not so as long as you keep some safeguards you'll be alright. There's some wonderful people out there so don't give up. I wish you the best of luck!
I met my bf online and we've been together for over a year. We chatted online a bit and went out for dinner and then to a bar for our first date. I will admit to Facebook stalking him before we met just to make sure I wasn't missing any warning signs. I didn't sleep with him on the first date. That came later Unfortunately I can't say the name of the site we used on here, but it is free and very popular. I like telling people it was Christian Mingle and seeing if they believe me...not only will they not let you search for same-sex matches but I'm Jewish.
I'm sorry if I will offend anyone with this, but... DO NOT do online dating if you don't plan on meeting up. I've made that mistake and I truly think that's what lead to a lot of my current apprehensions with dating. Online dating is a great tool if you use it to meet people and go out and actually do things. So here are a few tips... 1. If the guy looks too good to be true, don't respond/message. I'm not sure what app you're using in particular, BUT often times there are many fake accounts. 2. Don't be forced into anything - if you aren't comfortable doing X, Y or Z - don't. Online meeting can sometimes give you a weird comfort blanket. 3. Do your research - As others have said, there are definitely better apps out there than not. I'm not even saying you should stay away from hookup apps - sometimes, those can lead to non-hookups. I have a pretty popular one, and I've found that there are pretty good guys on it. It's known to be a hookup app but it's backed by years of experience.
