BFF attempted suicide; I'm still scared

Suicide is most often impulsive, as far as I understand it. Depression is present in a majority of cases.
It's often very much an in-the-moment thing. I can understand your confusion; but it isn't uncommon. They "can't see clearly". That's true, from an outside perspective. From an inside perspective, people who have attemped suicide have reported feeling clarity. Nevertheless, everything they see is dark, and it can happen very fast.

The best you can do is be there and give him support. If there is a next time, one can only hope he reaches out for help.

 

Hi I am sorry for what you are going through (*hug*). Often times during an act of suicide we forget that the person who actually attempted the suicide is not the only person who suffers during the aftermath. The persons around him, those intimate to him also suffer a great a lot, after all it is truly a traumatic experience.

Now in saying that I am in no way diagnosing your friend it is simply not my place to do so. First of all I do not know his history, I do not know his lifestyle, his present relationship, etc. However I would like to offer you some possibilities as to what may have triggered this act of suicide. One possibility is that your friend may have suffered from Acute Major Depressive Episode. Contrary to what we imagine not all of those who suffer from Depression display the usual overwhelming sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, lack or drive, etc. Some actually mask these symptoms by in a way putting on a "mask" or an act so as to appear happy or fine to outsiders. This is the reason why some family or friends are often caught of guard when their loved one suddenly commits suicide.

Another possibility which his Psychiatrist will not look into is Bipolar Disorder. Although I do not have a complete abstract of his Medical, Personal, Social and Mental History, two things stand out to me. Being Happy and his act of Impulsivity. Euphoria, Elation or marked "happiness" and Impulsivity (lack of impulse control) are some of the hallmark symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. Now the Psychiatrist will quantify this with other symptoms which may be present in a Bipolar patient such as sleep disturbance (unable to sleep) and despite lack of sleep staying energetic, rapid speech, racing thoughts, etc. As well as other forms of impulsivity such as alcohol and substance abuse, shopping sprees, hypersexuality. All of this symptoms occur during the Hypomanic or Manic phase of Bipolar Disorder. I have seen a great deal of patients who have actually committed/attempted Suicide during the Hypomanic/Manic phase and not necessarily only during the Depressive Phase of the Disorder.

Again I would like to reiterate I am not diagnosing your friend. What I have mentioned above are just some of the possibilities that his Psychiatrist would look into. What is important now more than ever is to be there for him.

 

I have personal experience with all of this, and I agree that your boyfriend may be suffering from Bipolar disorder. It could also have been a mixed episode, where symptoms of both depression and mania are present. During a mixed episode, the risk of suicide is much greater and it's of utmost importance to seek help if this is suspected. Even just calling a suicide helpline will help, but it's best to see a psychiatrist urgently. Here is some information about all the different symptoms Bipolar people experience. I often refer back to this page whenever a "new" or "unusual" symptom rears its ugly head, and I must say, it's pretty accurate.

Please urge your boyfriend to seek professional help. Mostly for himself, but also for everyone close to him. It would be good for you to also see a psychiatrist. Not because you have a problem per se but to get some pointers on how to deal with this, and how to react if (hopefully never) it ever happens again.

I wish you and your boyfriend all the best. I know you both will get through this, and it'll make you both stronger. But please beg him to seek help, provided he hasn't already reached out to a professional.

Please keep us updated if you wish to do so. Good luck! (*hug*)

 

Judging from my experiences, this is a really good answer. Could the people around me do something? Yes. But none of us usually does those kind of things permanently. We let the other people live their lives. For a depressive person that means abandonment and loneliness and the fact that they are not worth other people's attention.
People at the office kept telling me how wonderfully cheery I was. It was just a mask for the world.
Your friend needs to know they can contact you in every dark moment.

 

Huge apologies! I misread the title. I read BF instead of BFF. But the other details of my post remain the same :icon_redf :icon_redf :icon_redf

 

Here is your answer.
It's possible that your friend will never be the same he was. I know I am not. Once you start thinking about suicide, it's easy to keep it as one of the solutions available. "Normal" people don't think that way. Also, problems seem to be larger. Try to find out what is the reason for him to feel that way.
But unless he will work on it hard you can never be sure you will save him. If there are no abvious problems that can be solved (like money or something), he needs to work on his selfesteem and selflove. Because at the end it will be always HIM who will save him. And he needs to see that he is worth it.

 

My impression of what you've told me is that he has had Major Depressive Episode for quite some time, he has had suicidal tendencies in the past hence was put under suicide precaution and had previously sought treatment? I think the problem lies where his family may have let their guard down. This is a common mistake often made as you say when they think he/she is "getting better". I'll get back to what I had previously mentioned. Getting better can be a number of things--- actually getting better, putting on a mask or an act, or the the development of another Mood Disorder.

One thing the Psychiatrist will now assess if he or she is gonna explore the possibility of Bipolar Disorder, if and only if it is backed by other symptoms I have previously mentioned. Is if what had happened was the result of Medication induced Bipolar Disorder. If your friend had previously sought treatment and was prescribed Antidepressants (medications prescribed to patients with Depression), one adverse effect of Antidepressants is inducing Bipolar Disorder. In this case the drug instead of just elevating the mood from Depressive to Euthymia (normal mood), has suddenly caused an offshoot of the mood to that of Hypomania/Mania. This is one possibility which could explain how he was "getting better", "happy", "impulsive". But again this has to be substantiated by other symptoms.

Are you concerned that his Sociopathy may have something to do with his Suicide? If so there are actually two polarities of thought when it comes to this. Some Psychiatrists believe that Sociopaths (persons with an enduring or chronic Antisocial Behavior or Deviance) are immune or resistant to acts of suicide, particularly in Sociopaths with marked Affect and Interpersonal features . However there are also Psychiatrists who claim based on studies that there is a significant relation between Sociopathy and suicide, particularly in Sociopaths with marked Lifestyle and Antisocial features. Lifestyle and Antisocial features include impulsivity and poor behavioral controls.

However all of these are based on theory. Without other pertinent data we would just have to go with Major Depressive Disorder. 90% of cases of Suicide are linked to Depression in one form or another may it be from Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Depression or depression linked to Personality disorders, etc. Is saying this what I want you to understand is now that your friend has actually gone to the extent of attempting suicide there is now a 3 fold chance that he would again repeat this act within the year alone to this date. And after that a 38 fold chance he would repeat this in his lifetime. This period right after his suicide attempt is critical as during the first 3 months alone he is at a 12% risk of attempting suicide again, during this period also he may again undergo suicidal ideation.

I say this because it is important not to let your guard down. We can institute suicide precautions however those would be realistically instituted by the family itself. As a friend your role is to be there for him and to reassure him that he can turn to you no matter what. Reassure him that he can talk to you openly. Sometimes Depressed persons or persons contemplating suicide keep to themselves. This isn't because they are selfish, or that they view you as untrustworthy or at the very least they don't think of you as a friend. They keep to themselves because they don't want to burden you with what they are going through. They feel as if they are a burden to everyone and would very much like to lessen that burden as much as possible. Some keep to themselves because they think people are tired of listening to their "condition" and "problems". They may be self conscious and believe that the world thinks are are making "a big something out of nothing". Or in general they believe that people are tired of listening to them talk about their "condition" and "problems". Constantly reassure him that this is not the case. Let him know that how and what he feels is just as important to you as it is to him. If necessary you can be the one to initiate the topic of his well-being if he is reluctant to. This is important because having a friend is a form of Social Control which reduces the risk of suicide.

Be also sharp when interacting with him. Sometimes a person who is going to attempt suicide will go through certain actions and behaviors such as--- saying goodbye to people, suddenly giving away some of his belongings even his favorite "xxx", telling you how much he loves you or how it has been a pleasure being your friend all this time, etc. These are all subtle cues, "warning signs" that if you are quick to notice may actually end up saving the life of your loved one.