Suicide

*gives you a hug*

Hey I know things are rough right now, but they won't be that way forever. Life can be really tough, and I know how much it hurts having a parent turn on you, and rumors spreading around school. When I was 14 I had to deal with all that and it sucks, but things get better in time. Just remember this isn't going to be forever. When you turn 18 you'll be completely free to do whatever you want, and you can step away from the negative influences of your life. It may be tough, but just hang in there for a lil while longer

 

Going through basically the same thing right now. My father publically declared today, and I quote, "I don't give a fuck about you." He was getting pretty physically abusive too. He tried to kick me out, but my mother won't let him. I'm still staying strong myself. It's hard to keep positive. It really is. What I do, is I space out, and imagine the future: a diverse amount of LGBTQ+ friends, volunteering in the Trevor Project, being together with my girlfriend. Think about what YOU want for YOUR future. The possibility of these things happening are very high. It's your choice to make it happen. It's up to you to determine how your future should be. Never settle for less! Love yourself! Because you deserve to live how you wanna live. Stay positive: Because I guarantee there's a light at the end of the tunnel.(*hug*)

 

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

keep it strong buddy. all i can give you a virtual hug but keep in mind you are not alone.

(*hug*)

 

You crave death, I know the feeling. I have had a powerful urge to end it all. Death seemed like a kiss to blow away all the pain.

But let me ask you this, do you know what lies beyond death? Who's to say it wouldn't be worse than what you're going through now? We assume death is a better alternative when in fact it is far more ambiguous than life. There is no telling what happens.

I won't sugar coat it for you. Life sucks, often. But it has moments that make it bearable. Once thing you can count on is impermanence. Nothing lasts, not joy or suffering. Can things get better, I hope. Can they get worse? Probably. I can't tell you what will happen because the future is uncertain. But know this, things change. For good or ill things change, it's unavoidable.

So if you want to choose between death and life I'd go for the one that at least I know one thing about versus the thing I know nothing about. In case you were wondering that's life.

 

Hi I am so sorry that you have to go through all of these. If you may I would like to impart to you my insight and advice. “Nobody Cares”--- do you tell yourself this often? Do you believe that you are a burden to others, and that they are better off without you? Truthfully YES, at times even those with the seemingly best of lives, the rich, the powerful, the famous would ultimately tell themselves that nobody cares. But the truth of the matter is, YOU have to be the one who cares the most about your own life. Even those who are surrounded by a great family, friends, and who seemingly have everything going for them, wouldn’t be alive if they didn’t do it for themselves. Suicide serves two folds, for one you want to escape life. But ultimately it makes you feel like you want more than anything to push people away. Your instincts tell you to push everyone away, everyone who has ever hurt you and made you feel miserable. You try to push everyone away even the ones with the best intentions because all they're going to do is try to stop you from getting what you think you want. You also push them away and resist them because they can't be trusted because they don't understand and don't really care. You want desperately for someone, anyone, especially those closest to you, even your abusive parents, your friends, to save you and fight for you even if it means fighting with you the whole way. You want desperately for someone to prove that they care especially if you are resisting at the time and trying your hardest to push them away and doing everything you can think of to make life that much harder for them. It's a test to see if that person really cares about you enough to fight for you and really fight for you (and with you) enough to save you. It's a test to see how long they will last before giving up. Those who continue to stay in the game and refuse to back down during those conflicts are the ones who pass. But when you feel suicidal, you already know ahead of time that no one ever passes this test no matter how much you may want them to.

Suicide can be seductive, a place for your mind to wander to for comfort, the ultimate escape. Fantasizing about suicide, suicidal ideations offers a kind of last hope, under your control and kept just in case things prove too overwhelming. Suicidal Ideations as an adult is akin to wanting to run away as a child, you want to run away from life itself--- problems including. The idea of suicide seems like sweet fantasy, in a way you have romanticized it, peace. But there lies the conflicting feelings you have right now, clear-headed you know the consequences of a suicide. The aftermath is devastating, heartbreaking and your family will never be the same ever again. Is it wrong to assume that you don’t really want to kill yourself? It’s that you just want to disappear, get away so that you don’t have to deal with life? By far, suicide is the greatest failure. When you kill yourself, you never give yourself the opportunity to grow, to get stronger, to write a great story with your life, and to experience hope and love from people in your life. You are worth so much more than just being a quitter.

I would like to share to you an exercise from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy--- First thing to do is to recognize the behavior, that is when your depressive thoughts are starting. Our Brain is pre-wired to focus on the negative aspect of things, specifically what hurts us. What I want you to do is the moment a negative emotion arises because of whatever situational trigger or if it just so happens spontaneously, quickly re-focus your mind on another thing, a positive thing. Do not entertain the negative thought playing through your mind and the accompanying negative emotions. Instead quickly redirect your focus on the good things around you, focus on whatever happy stuff is happening around you it may be music, your beautiful house, even the thoughts of being able to live on your own etc. Cultivate the positive emotion. Eventually this will teach and re-wire your brain to focus on the positive and thus elicit positive emotions.

Again I would like to reiterate the importance of seeking professional help. Please see a competent and licensed Psychiatrist who may accord you the treatment you need such as medications and therapy. And remember call for help when you feel suicidal, ANY HELP--- Call a Suicide Hotline, a Family, A Friend, anyone willing to listen and help. It doesn't make you any less of a person. If anything it makes you BRAVE because you choose to fight on instead of choosing a permanent fix for a temporary problem.

Just remember with each day you stay strong, with each additional step you take. You are now a step closer to living your dream.