Do you have to be 100% out to date? I feel like I owe it to my friends and family to tell them in person, but I can't work up the nerve, and I want to date but feel like if someone found out about it that I would be betraying them by not telling them in person. Right now it is just my parents that i'm out to, any advice?
You're not betraying anyone by not being fully out. It's all about if you are comfortable. Do you feel ready to come out to your friends? If not then I'd suggest you wait but you also mentioned that your parents know. That's a huge step! I think once you come out to your parents, telling others becomes easier. But again, it's how you feel.
Not necessarily. There's some of my extended family I'm not sure if I'll ever come out to and I don't think it would matter too much. Unless you won't admit you're gay to others then it can get complicated.
I don't think so, no. But I'm at a point now where if my friends ask if I have a girlfriend I'll just say nope! I'm actually gay. But then again I won't advertise to the world or everyone I know that I'm gay. Maybe I will as time goes on, but at the moment.I don't feel its necessary to tell everyone that I talk to that I'm gay, let alone people that I'll talk to once and never again.
To answer the question--- NO. But being out in essence may make things less complicated. Also there are out gay guys who abstain from dating closeted men, vice versa. In my case I never had a "Mom/Dad I'm Gay!" moment. I started going out with guys, when my parents got wind. They talked amongst themselves, my mom was ultimately tasked to give me the "talk". She just said "they'd love me all the same." However when it comes to friends (I only have straight friends) and family, I DO NOT DISCUSS my sexuality or dating life. It's simply non of their business. I don't prude into theirs, so I expect that they don't prude into mine. My approach is my sexuality is just one aspect of my being, therefor I don't make a big fuss about it. I don't have the obligation to announce to everyone I'm gay, just as much as straight people don't have the obligation to announce they're straight. Ultimately it's your call, you can choose to tell your family and friends if it would alleviate your concerns, stress and anxiety regarding the issue.
My two cents worth..... No....you definitely don't have to be out 100% to date. But it can complicate things a little (or a lot depending on different factors). In the end, it's nobody's business who you date or don't date.
No, you don't. I was about 5% out when I started seeing a girl (percentage randomly pulled out of my behind). Okay, basically I was out to two people: the girl I liked, and my best friend. I think just the first one would have been enough (and essential). I've been seeing her since January, and while I'm now out on campus and in my daily life, I'm still not fully out to my family. I actually liked the fact that I was seeing someone before/while coming out, because it made it easier in some ways: no one doubted my orientation, and I sometimes didn't even need to say a word because just seeing me with my SO was enough. I hardly ever needed to outright say, "I'm bisexual." If you want to come out and tell your family/friends, you can. But you don't need to go out of your way to do it and you don't owe it to them. If, however, you find yourself going out of your way to hide your (future) relationship, that could be a problem, and not fair to your partner.
So long as you're comfortable in yourself and open with your prospective partner that's all that matters, I wasn't out to anyone when I'd only been questioning being bisexual when I got together with my first girlfriend she was accepting and so was her mother. (Whilst my family didn't know anything) After a while of dating I did come out to a few people but that was about it..... Its personal I've since come out as lesbian Kinsey scale 4-5 to a few more people, I've tried dating one woman that wasn't out only to one of her male friends and that didn't turn out good because she couldn't admit even to me her feelings or sexuality even after I was open with her Take each step one at a time if you want people to know its your choice
That's my ideal situation. I won't have to hide or label myself. I just need to find a girlfriend soon.
The main thing is just to be honest with the other person. It can be hard coming out to family, and I know multiple friends who came out and also revealed they were in serious relationships at the same time. That said, don't think of this as betraying others. Your romantic life is no one else's business.
