Hello all my fellow gay buddies. Yet another forum on confused and broken Gaydar! 4 weeks now and I finally exchanged smile with him. So here's how the story goes. I started running on beach on Sunday evenings. 1week, almost after my run I was all sloppy and stuffing my jacket into my bag and when I look up there's this guy who is sooo like my dream boy looking into my eyes. I was instantly in freeze moment. We looked into each other's eyes for about a second or 2 and I looked down. I'm a very very shy person when approaching guys I like. Most times I mess up. And every time the guy I have approached has turned out to be straight. So coming back to this guy. He went past me and I needed a moment to catch some breath so I stopped and was looking towards the sunset and here he comes back. There's again a second of eye contact and he moves ahead. And in few seconds he disappears. As always I thought "only in my dreams" and I decided to move on and started walking off the beach and out of the blue he was running towards me. I spotted him but I tried to unsee him. I did notice that he again looked at me. Like a proper 2 ,3 second stare and we parted our ways. 2 week I saw him again. The same thing happened. We exchanged stares and once he almost ran into me.. Lol. I couldn't stop imagining that there is something going on. 3 week I was unfortunately late so I thought he must have left. But I was in luck I saw him leaving. He stopped turned around and yet again he looked at me. I mean there are hundreds of people on beach but u know when someone is looking at u. Lol I in fact purchased a book on gay body language. I have learnt a few important things for. The book. So I decided I have to make some progress this weekend. Either talk to him or at least say hi. And finally 4th week. Yesterday. I was on time and there he was. We saw each other from quite long distance. I decided I will say hi or at least smile. So when we were close enough he smiled first and waved a hi and I did a sloppy hi in return.. Gosh.. And in his second lap he passed quite near from. As if he wanted me to smell his arousing perfum. I did give him a nice friendly and inventing smile. And the he disappeared. I am so confused.. Dam this has never happened to me. A guy that I'm attracted to gives me a very friendly inviting gestures. He might be a very friendly straight dude as well. I don't know.. What should I do now? I thinking I should apprach him by "hey I have a feeling we have met before, James. Right?" At least I'll get to his name whe. He corrects me. And I guess once we talk I'll know where does he stands..
Hmm, instead of a malfunctioning gaydar, go talk to him! Maybe just start simple with a hi, I've been seeing you around here recently, and strike up a conversation! Instead of getting your stomach up in knots, talking to him for starters would be the best. Good luck, especially with your nerves!
I agree...whats the harm...just say hello and smile invitingly...even if hes straight...he might be a great person and worth knowing.....sending u strength and courage
Wow sounds nice you should make a move to talk to him he might be just as shy and be trying to feel you out as well just say hi see were it goes hope it works out for u
So I was back on beach this Sunday and there he was, as both of saw each other we gave a friendly "hi" through eyes. I had decided to speak to him this time. So I decided to wait for him at the exit point. He came to the exit point and all of a sudden there was a total cold exchange of eye contact. I smiled at him as came close but he didn't smile back and went past me totally ignoring me. I felt as if I might be invading his privacy or maybe he is just normal straight guy. A few seconds later I turned back and he was standing there but yet again totally ignoring me. After a minute I left from there and yet again when I walked past him there was no connection. Totally confusing. It was always he who started giving me stares and smiles. But this time totally opposite! I am very sure I didn't act creepy. Lol. Could he be curious or closeted? I'm pretty much a straight acting guy. I mean Never make it into other gays Gaydar. Even my X was like that but he was bi. So I never attach stereo type labels. I might give this a one last shot. What do u guys think?
yes, the story just rebooted. After the time when Kevin (lets give him a name for now) totally ignored me, I thought its the end of story. I decided to get back to trekking on weekends so instead of going back to the beach for runs, I was trekking, back in my old routine. Last weekend I couldn't go for the trek so I decided to go back to the beach. Obviously, I started thinking of Kevin and hoping to bump into him. So as I reached the beach entrance point, my timing couldn't be more right. I saw him running past the point. I knew he takes one lap of the whole beach and takes an exit. So I thought I create a situation that we might bump into each other and see what happens. I decided to wait for him yet again. As I looked at the sunset, I spot him running from far so i started walking towards the exit point slowly. I knew he will walk past me and I wanted to see if say Hi or just ignores me. He comes and walks past me. Yes totally ignoring me, but I did catch him slightly turning and trying to look back. As if he wanted to see if I saw him or not. I am very sure, he fakes this ignorant behaviour. The last sunday I went back. Honestly I just went to the beach to be peaceful with zero expectations if get to see Kevin or make any progress. So I just listened to music and was in my world. I had a thought how would kevin look if he had grown a little beard. Call it telepathy. As I look away from the setting sun, there he was looking at me. I immediately smiled and it was my first natural reaction when i saw him. And yes he too gave me this beautiful natural smile, as if "i missed you too" kind of feel. And yes he had grown some nice stubble. Oh and then he disappeared !! Why am I acting as if its 1960s while its 2015!!! Any thoughts?
Hi Nishant. First of all let me tell you that what i think is happening is cute. Sounds like a rom-com to me of sorts. No offense intended. Maybe he likes you, maybe he doesn't. But it could just as well be that he is not comfortable letting his feelings out? Maybe he is shy and is waiting for you to make the first step? He could be interested in men too and is maybe unsure if you are? There are loads of if and but scenarios here and I'm sure you'll have a better idea if you approach him and talk to him. Just a casual conversation. "Hi. I've seen you around somedays here or the weather is pleasant or Do you come here often" anything that lets a conversation flow. You might get a better idea then. Let us know he it goes! Personally, I'd like to know what happens.
Thanks. No offense taken. I kind of feel the same as if I'm in a Rom-Com. Everytime i go to the beach with any expectations, I get something totally opposite. I'm going back on Sunday with again no expectations. I'll definitely talk to him if he is there..
