Hey, I'm a 36 year-old guy who's just started realising that I am attracted to men as well as women. I know that any potential first hook-up with a guy is going to be confusing, but this one is extra complicated. Going back about 7 years, i was involved in a community theatre production. An utterly adorable 10 year-old boy in the show was also very affectionate and loved getting his hugs and kisses. It was completely usual for him, and there was certainly nothing to hide from his parents, others in the show, etc. We became good friends at the time, before contact petered out (with the age difference, staying in touch was barely a priority). Now, I've re-established contact with him in the last year (happened by chance). He is 17, so above the age of consent, and has expressed romantic feelings for me which are very easy to reciprocate. When he was over at my place last week we locked lips in my pool, and it had clearly gone beyond the affectionate little kisses on the forehead i used to give him as a little kid. Being with him feels amazing, we bond so well. but i am terrified that if it continues the innocent little exchanges from when he was a kid will be seen as me grooming him. Is this safe to continue, or am i getting myself into hot water?
In all honesty you still need to consider the difference in age. The fact that he is 17 and you are 36 is a big issue because you are at totally different stages of life. He still has a lot of growing up and maturing to do and it will be almost impossible for him and you to enjoy a healthy, stable relationship that is on equal terms. One, or both of you would end up getting hurt -- I'm afraid it's almost inevitable and as the older person you really do need to consider that. It's good that you felt able to ask the question, but I would strongly advise you against taking this any further. I'm slightly older than you, so I know how very awkward and challenging this could be. Think about it very carefully.
He's under 18. You've known him since he was 10. He's still a child, you're old enough to be his parent. He's probably still living with his parents. He might still be in high school. You are getting yourself into boiling water if you ask me.
This is beyond a terrible idea. You met this kid when he was 10. This means he sees you as an adult, a parental/father/mentor like presence. There's really no way to undo that, at least not with someone 17. Secondarily, a relationship with a 17 year old where you'd be twice his age can't possibly be healthy. He's not even an adult emotionally. It's going to be a heavily codependent relationship, with imbalances in many places, and could never be emotionally healthy for either of you. It's important to understand that part of what's going on for you, in getting in touch with your same-sex attraction, is that you're unconsciously seeking to live out the teen life you never had the opportunity to live. It's quite common for guys, early in their coming out process, to seek out guys many years younger than they are, for that reason. But it isn't healthy. And you also need to ask yourself... why would an emotionally healthy 17 year old want to go out with someone old enough to be his father? The answer is because there's something other than a healthy romantic relationship that he's trying to fulfill. Bad idea on all counts. I know that may hurt to hear that... but I think the fact you're asking means you already, at some level, know the answer.
Dude listen to everyone their right I know its probably not what u want to hear but know its true to many red flags your not thinking str8 do the right keep in mind that being he's not mature yet a falling out between u could be an invitation for some future troubles you don't want
He's 17, he probably wants to explore and have fun, but you are an adult: you can't let this go further. You have to make it clear to him that he has crossed the line. You may be attracted to him, but at the end of the day this relationship will hurt both of you.
