I started therapy again today, with a new counselor who need to know everything about me so she can put me onto the right therapist . Its amazing how much you can bottle stuff up on the inside, telling her about my sex life as she is a sexual health counselor too, to my parents now both gone , dealing with all that, (you can see in some of my other posts)., also some thoughts on suicide and self harming.. she said its going to be a long long long road with many small steps, some which I will fall again, I told her its like I have so much darkness inside me and its trying to do away with the good in me... constant struggle.. now for tomorrow, the next day I guess.. I am still here... although feel like I should be in a mental house some times! :dry:
Thanks for sharing this. The road toward self-understanding and acceptance can be a long one, and it sounds like you've had a lot of difficulties. I admire you for taking the steps to better yourself, and for working to keep a positive attitude about it!
well, I'm on a road Chip, road to the 3rd counselor (therapist.) trying one tiny step, So many downers right now.. has any one been to an mental institution? or what ever they are called. I often wonder if its what I may end up in some day.. I don't want to and trying so hard its a constant battle.
Morning Aussie, I spent time interviewing possible therapists and found this one through the recommendation of a therapist that I respect. From my road I have seen many counselors through the years and have finally found the right one, or I was finally ready to do the work - doesn't matter. It has been 18 months of weekly therapy and I have finally passed the apex of my work and am now working on refining and redefining actions, life choices. Speak with your therapist about in patient treatment if this is a concern. I work in healthcare and have spent time with clients in crisis and in patient hospitalization. I am not sure how things work down under, but the system seems to work pretty well up here from my exposure. Be well - J
couldn't edit .. I hate crying, bawling my eyes out to them, hiding in my bed all day trying to hide from the world or trying to drown the world out in the shower... sitting on the floor instead of standing up.. some days I wonder what its like to be dead... but I fear the pain of dying so I don't.. needles scare me and drinking , yuk!!.. Have self harmed again this week damn it and I usually do it where people don't see it and told my doctor about it for the first time. thought she was going to lock me up..I'm having so many nightmares lately I try to stay up at night and sleep during the day..feels like a vampire some times .. why does life have to be so bloody hard ?? has any one been to an mental institution? or what ever they are called. I often wonder if its what I may end up in some day.. I don't want to and trying so hard its a constant battle. so scared of living right now. I play pc and Xbox one games and do a gaming net show (plus community fm radio show) to try and move forward and keep my mind of it.... not easy... some days I just want to scream!! if this is getting too much for me to bear my self , let me know.. I've tried to open up to friends but it don't work out.. I always end up being hurt!!
The sooner you get everything out there, the clearer a picture your new therapist will have and so,will be best able to help you. Don't worry about overwhelming the therapist... They are trained to be able to handle most anything you throw at them
i often wonder if that is true with therapists, like not that I would do it but wonder like with my anxiety of masturbating, if any one has actually masturbated in front of the therapist... I'm still not sure about talking to a woman about my sex life , not being sexist or anything.. even though I did tell all to a the wonderful counselor recently .. think though telling any thing sexual to any one is quite difficult, either male or female.. so scary, and not sure if they can help me with my self harming or if thats something that can go away after time???
Purely a personal opinion, but I find that women are the best people to talk to about sex. If your therapist is trained in sexual issues it's certainly not going to bother her to hear about your anxiety surrounding masturbation. She will have heard it all before, I'm certain of that. I doubt any therapist would allow a client to masturbate in front of them. I think that would be crossing a line in professional ethics. A therapist is there to listen and deal with emotional and psychological issues (including psycho-sexual issues). Self harm is something you should talk to your therapist about. In my experience, it doesn't just go away and many people who self harm need extra support and better coping mechanisms. Talking about the issues that lead to self harm is a very important way of moving beyond self harm. Therapy isn't easy and you do need to engage fully with the process, but if you make that effort and stick at it you can get an awful lot out of it.
There are sexologists and sexual coaches that work with people with issues of sexual performance including masturbation. Some of these also have credentials as psychotherapists, but those who work directly in areas of sexual performance are generally operating under their sexology or coaching certification rather than under their psychotherapy licensure. It's a controversial area, not in the least because as Patrick indicated, it would be an ethical violation of pretty much every professional association to allow a client to engage in any sort of sexual act, and those who work in that field (if they're competent) have to have extraordinarily clear boundaries and be able to very clearly communicate with clients what is and is not appropriate. Under the right setting, this sort of work can be enormously beneficial... but it isn't easy finding the right person to work with. As far as talking about sexual activity and experience, including masturbation, unfortunately many therapists are squeamish about it. They shouldn't be, but it brings up a lot of shame issues that arise out of religious and societal guilt... the idea that "proper people don't discuss such things." And, sadly, the majority of therapists have not really done their own in-depth shame work. So you may want to address, early on, that it's important to you to be able to be open and frank about these issues. You may, quite frankly, have to initiate conversation about it to see how comfortable the therapist is, and you might need to go through a couple of therapists before you find one that is really comfortable talking about those topics with you.
thanks guys for your input! don't think I'd ever pull my pants down in front of a therapist.. but I am a little worried about erections though, I guess they see that from time to time with guys talking about their private lives. As good as it is to have friends , they don't want to hear whats wrong with you down stairs or in your head sometimes.. I wonder if women have similar issues with masturbation, now that I know that they do masturbate, never knew they did until recently ! never had sex education, thought masturbating was a guy thing... Since I've been on my own now with no parents I've learnt a lot about myself ,with still needing some help along the way. .does any of this make sense to you guys??
well, I went to the new therapist today .. she was nice enough, seems to be ok to talk too, different to the first one.. not sure if we have gelled or anything yet but I'm seeing her weekly for a while. unlike my last one which was once every 3 weeks. Telling her every thing , again hard for me and totally drained me this afternoon..thats about the 3rd time doing this .. I gather may not be the last down the track..
onto therapist number 3!! the one I was seeing has told me I'm out of her training!! she was nice enough and a good listener... any way my doc and I are on the search again... so drained right now.
