Okay, I have no clue where to put this but I really need to get this out. Today was a dark, dark day for me. But it also could be the most eye-opening day of my life. This morning, my English teacher had us write down what has caused us pain and grief over our lives. She invited us to share it. I had nothing I wanted to share, and everyone else who did talked about physical injuries. My friend and crush, though, she did. It was three minutes until class was over. She raised her hand. I thought she was going to talk about when her grandfather died. I got a completely different (and new) story. She's Catholic for starters and she is also gay. (or 'flaming homosexual' in her words) She went to Sunday School one day (she was in the closet) and somehow same sex relationships came up as a topic of discussion. She was shocked and horrified to find that her whole class was homophobic and thought that people of different sexualities should burn in hell. There was nothing she could do to change their minds. All throughout this she was crying, and I was also on the verge of crying. (Which is saying something for me because I almost never cry unless I'm REALLY moved emotionally) I was so shocked and sad that she had to go through that and I just had an emotional overload. She was a wreck after class, and I stayed with her and my English teacher. It was a really life changing experience for me, because up until then, homophobia had never been something that had really touched me. It's almost worse to me mentally and it pains me more that it was HER who went through that instead of me. It has hung over my head the entire day and it doesn't help that I can't cry it out. (because my eyes are idiots) Today has been life-changing for me and I just needed to get it out. Thanks so much for reading this really long post.
Whenever I hear any thing like this I get chills that run down my spine and memories pop up. I know for a fact growing up lgbt can be very isolating. Your story in particularly (or the girl's story) reminded me of the documentary called "The Bible Tells me So". Wow, what an emotional journey that documentary takes you on.
I can relate to her. I went to a church of Biblical literalists from the time I could walk up until I turned 12. Just the other day, my English teacher had us writing practice college essays, and I chose to write about that. I didn't get very far with it, because it can be difficult for me to open up to people, and at this point, he's basically a stranger. It brought up a lot of memories I hadn't thought of in months and years, and was incredibly awkward. Like "Hi, nice to meet you! My nana told me I would go to hell someday". If you need to talk to anybody, there's lots of people here (myself included) who would be more than happy to talk it out with you.
Oh my gosh guys the support is great thanks so much! I'm feeling a lot better about it and it somewhat feels like a dream now though I know it's real. I'm trying really hard to be there for her right now during this time. I'm okay now, I just had to get that out.
