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Feeling a lot of insecurities

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lonelyjamie, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. lonelyjamie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    ParanĂ¡, Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi,

    It all started a long time ago but this week it got worse: I'm very depressed, feeling loneny and with a lot of questions and insecurities on my mind.

    I feel insecure about my body (my hair, my teeth, my muscles... I don't like anything in my body), my personality (I don't like the fact that I'm too shy and don't know how to start a conversation) and my future.

    The biggest problem is my fear of my future. I turned 18 last week and now I'm at a complete risk, I had a lot of trouble with my mom when I told her I'm gay (but now she acts like nothing happened) and I'm afraid that if I let these 'gay subjects' come up againg she could expel me from home and I don't know if I could survive with that.

    I don't know what can I do to make me feel better. I want to feel more confident about myself but all I can see is a body that I don't like and a guy that can't make new friends, never dated (not even kissed!) and don't have a perspective for the future.

    Someone pleae help me, any advice.

    (Sorry about any mistakes, I'm still learning English)

    - lonelyjamie
     
  2. Lawrence

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi. It sounds like you've got a lot to deal with! You remind me a bit of myself when I was in high school. My bullies told me I was a weirdo and that I should kill myself. Eventually, I realised that I do have value. It didn't happen overnight. It was a progressive change that I didn't really notice until I measured how much my personality changed over a few years.

    I wrote down what type of person I wanted to be, and then I worked towards becoming that person. My future was pretty much settled when people needed my skills.

    I met a lot of people thanks to video games and Heavy Metal. You must have some hobbies that you can use to connect with others.

    If someone takes care of their health, then I'm not terribly concerned about their appearance.

    I learned most of my social skills (it's still something I struggle with, despite a lot of practice) from reading r/socialskills books and observing other people. One book that really helped was Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

    Right now I think you shouldn't talk about 'gay subjects' to your mom. I think she doesn't want to accept that you're gay, for whatever reasons. Hopefully she just needs time to work through her fears.