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How would you describe my behaviour?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ConverseCody, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. ConverseCody

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    Hi there,

    Recently when noticing how awkward I get about my sexuality, I have also noticed how awkward I get about lots of aspects of my life and how this is something I should perhaps work on.

    Even though I know people around me who I work with, go to college with etc. won't have any huge issue with my sexuality I still get very awkward, embarrassed and generally avoid talking about it.

    However, I've noticed I do this throughout my life- avoiding or hiding things, which realistically people won't care about.

    I have a rubbish example below but its the first thing I could think of:

    When I was at school I was an emo and had one of those sweeping fringes. I used to straighten it every morning and style it. However, when anybody asked how I did my hair, I would just lie and say it was naturally like that and feel all hot and embarrassed, even though, realistically they wouldn't have cared. I remember on a school trip we went swimming and my hair went curly after and someone asked if that was natural hair and I went all awkward and embarrassed. I look back now and think why? But I'm constantly guilty of hiding things and feeling awkward about them. Things that nobody will care about.

    Similarly whilst at uni, I volunteered at a charity shop. Nothing to be embarrassed of. But then for some reason I got all weird about it and decided to hide it from my friends, which led to me stressing that they would see me there one day.

    There are countless other things I do this for all the time. I don't know if I'm just overly concerned what people will think, shame prone, or what.

    Does anyone have any idea why I carry out this behaviour? Or even how to describe it?
     
  2. Lawrence

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    You kind of answered your own question. Sometimes you feel anxious (?) about receiving attention, and I think it's something to do with self-consciousness. At this stage, it sounds like a habit that you would probably be able to change, and it might take a while. Maybe you still feel ashamed of your sexuality?

    However, nobody has to be an "open-book." If you don't want to talk about something, then sometimes that's perfectly understandable. Plus it's healthy to be somewhat wary that people might use information against you, so folks need to progressively earn your trust. Of course, the things you're talking about seem pretty harmless. Plus I think it's understandable if you didn't want "hero-worship" about working in a charity shop. I can be a bit of a show-off, but there are some things that I downplay and try to avoid, for various reasons, like I'm tired of hearing about them.

    Hmm. This is only slightly related, but I'm going to say it anyway; it might help to remember that a lot of people are more concerned about what others think about them or what they're having for dinner later. Yes, they might think about me for a minute or so when I threaten an inanimate object. But they'll almost certainly have forgotten about the incident within a week. You also have to take into account that our thoughts tend to focus on our own lives (especially if you're an introvert), so we're probably going to torture ourselves reliving our own awkward moments many more times than other people will think about our mistakes.
     
  3. ConverseCody

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    Thanks for the advice :slight_smile:
     
  4. GlindaRose

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    Trust me, I keep things to myself all the time. E.g. my family has no idea about the year-long crush I've had on this girl. Not because I think they'd mind or anything, but simply because I can't be bothered to deal with the huge amount of questioning/teasing/etc that I'd be bound to get if they found out. It simply isn't worth it unless something was to actually happen with my crush.

    So if you don't want to talk about something, don't. You're not obligated. :slight_smile:
     
  5. BrokenRecord

    BrokenRecord Guest

    Don't worry, it was probably just a phase. For example, I used to be a huge hater of the furry community. Now, I'm an outside advocate for it and work to give them a better image for other people to see. We all go through phases in our younger years, and that's not a bad thing. It helps us form conclusions about ourselves and make us who we are at heart. Don't let any of it get you down. :icon_bigg