At 17 years of age I had my first and only gay experience with someone. I liked it and felt safe in his arms. This lasted about a year maybe and we stopped. While this was going on I was still checking out girls and masturbating to straight porn pictures. I told myself your bi-sexual at most and then dropped the subject. Fast forward and at 20 years old and I have sex with a woman, but it was awkward and didn't cum. At 25 years old I was watching a interview with Freddie Mercury where he eluded to not having anyone who cared for him and I the thought "I could love you." At 27 years old I had sex with a woman and I came quick. Both times it was the woman who initiated sexual advances. The ages I have said are approximates. Now at 35 years old I watch and somewhat enjoy straight porn and masturbate. But when I watch Torch Trilogy or Parting Glance I get that "I could love you" thoughts coming to the surface. I also notice Clint Eastwood's smile in his older movies and notice Denzel Washington's ass in The Hurricane film. Tried to keep this short and sweet.
Well, what if you could? What if Freddie Mercury, or Denzel Washington, or anyone else, showed up and wanted to start seeing you, or wanted to initiated sex - how would you feel?
Where are your fantasies when you're masturbating without porn? Are you thinking about guys more, or girls? And when you compare the sexual experiences you had when you were 17 with the experiences with the women, did you enjoy them equally?
When I was more social I had fantasies about women and a few about men. Physically I have become aroused equally, but mentally felt awkward when I was with women. With my friend it felt natural and safe. He would kiss me awake sometimes, I liked that.
