It's only been a day since my ex and I broke up... yet the pain feels like it's lasted a million years... There's a hole in my heart, nothing feels right... my friends are all worried that I'll do something to hurt myself, I'll kill myself, or that I just lose my general understanding of things and just go ballistic and hurt everything and everyone... To make a long story short, my ex dumped me because he no longer loved me, he started to develop feelings for someone else while dating me, and nothing I did proved to him that I loved him and helped him fall for me... He still wants to be there for me but I can't let him go... I still love him and I want to be there for him... It pains me to think of him being happy with someone else... I've gone into an even deeper depression because of losing him and it's hard to not just end it all... Make him happy by taking me out of the picture... he won't have to worry about how I'm doing, I won't have to deal with seeing him with someone else... I just don't know what to do... I don't want to lose contact with him... but neither do I want to hurt him anymore by doing something stupid like taking my own life :tears:
Hey, things look rough now but they do get better. You just need time to move on and heal. If he isn't the right guy, then there is still someone out there waiting. Give yourself some time to heal and some space away from him. You need a mourning period and then after that, things will start to become clearer. Hang in there, buddy. Things really do get better over time.
Find closure - beginning and end of story. Move on, don't let him be there for you and do not be there for him. He has moved on and you need to do the same. As for your other friends concerned about your well being, rely on them to be there for you. Breakups suck, but its in your best interest to start fresh.
It is exactly normal to feel the way you do in the initial grieving phase of a breakup, a person who experiences a breakup will go through the behavior of reminiscing about the former beloved, recalling details of the relationship, things such as the qualities you loved about him, your dates, all the nice things he did for you, how he made you feel loved, how he provided you comfort, etc. Even to the extent of recalling details of his face. Normally succeeding that phase is sadness. Mourning the relationship lost, what could have been. A feeling of sadness on how much you miss him. Sadness over how he and you could have been perfect together. You'll agonize over every detail of the relationship. Questioning every action you made or didn't make. Questioning whether you could have done more. Anger, the stage which succeeds this lends a person to behave with resentment, regret. You'll be angry about how he makes you sad. Angry at how he led you on and wasted your time. Angry for allowing yourself to fall in the first place. Angry at how everything seems to remind you of him. Eventually when all the emotional turmoil has subsided. You are now left with a vulnerable heart, hence you feel guarded. You question your own judgments and the judgments and intentions of people around you... Now step back and reevaluate. Have you really gotten over the relationship? Have you allowed yourself to experience all the emotions? The purpose for all of these is for self-understanding and to see where you stand. Only then will you finally have ACCEPTANCE and CLOSURE... Acceptance of the truth that you need Time. You have to come to terms about the breakup and where you stand, on your own and so does your ex. Acceptance of the truth that you both need space. It's truly noble that you have tried to remain as friends. However in reality it is better said than done. One or the other may keep pushing, wanting to talk, wanting to be friends but it serves to complicate things when one hasn't really moved on. Giving yourself time allows you to get the closure you need. Time and a large doze of self perspective will allow you to realize that your Ex wasn't Mr. Right, life has a plan for you and that it doesn't include him. Accept that you weren't meant to be together. If you choose to deny and distance from your emotions, such as engaging in a rebound relationship, “getting wasted”, or other band-aid solutions. It serves to cover-up the emotional and mental crisis inside of you. It will arrest your natural progression through the grieving process. Distanced from your feelings, your feelings will continue to subconsciously emanate. Perpetuating the hurt, pain and/or in your case longing. Unless you allow yourself to feel these emotions, you end up subconsciously internalizing them until it ends up manifesting itself by tainting any potential for contentment, joy, happiness and love with a future partner. Now that you have lost a Support System. Maybe it is time to rekindle and strengthen, invest more in your relationships with your friends and family. I think they will serve best to remind you that there is more to life than having your (ex) partner.
Hey there, I know how you feel...i recently went through a break up as well, and they are hard. at this point, if he has feelings for someone else, you need to distance yourself from him, it's the only way to help yourself get over him. You have to realize that there is someone better out there for you but things take time. It takes time to heal, but use this as time to reflect on yourself and to help you gain the strength to move on. I hope this helps!
