I have just started at university and I am having problems making friends. I have always been shy, but now I feel like I'm getting worse. I have tried attending the events that the university offers but I always end up in a corner on my own too scared to talk to anyone. I never approach people first because when I was a kid I had people who I thought were my friends, but then one day they turned around and said "why do you keep talking to us, can't you tell we don't actually like you". So from that point on I decided only to talk to people if they talk to me first, because if they make the first move I assume they don't mind talking to me. I realise this is quite limiting, so I've tried to initiate converstaions, but I never know what to say. I don't really like socialising because it makes me feel bad when I can't talk, but I want to be more confident and have friends, I just don't know how. I feel like giving up, it would be easier to stay in on my own. I'm wondering if I have social anxiety or something, like maybe I could get therapy for it, but I'm too scared to ask. I wanted this to be a fresh start where I could be a confident person, but now I feel like it's too late as everyone has already made friends. What can I do? :icon_sad:
Try and find people that are much alike you. They probably crave for the same things that can't be fulfilled because of their shyness, so you'd be exactly what they need. Search them in people you have courses with, so things would be much easier, as you'd meet (almost) daily.
Clubs! Clubs! Clubs! I thought that now that I was out of high school and uni that I wouldn't be able to find ways to make friends outside of work and the ones I already have but there are queer support groups out there and I've made a ton of friends. You've got a whole university of people that probably want to makes friends, go out there and try to muster up whatever courage you have to just say hi. Remember that maybe some people are just as shy and are waiting on you to say something. There are also people out there who may not have things in common with you, that's fine. There are more people out there, 7 billion people out there, there is bound to be a couple thousand that share the same interests as you. Go say Hi!
When I was lonely in school, I just started talking to the people who never spoke to anyone else. They were people like me who were shy and felt left out. They became very good friends to me. Sometimes the best friendships you can have are with other introverts.
