Hey everyone, I have this huge crush on this girl I like. I know she's not straight, but I don't think she's attracted to me in the same way I'm attracted to her, which really hurts. I think I'd be good for her, but maybe she doesn't see it the same way. Bottom line is, I need to let her go and I just need your help. What makes it harder is the fact that she's one of the few people who I possibly could call mine, but it's just not meant to be. She's got a ton of personality, but she just doesn't express her emotions well at all and I think I need someone who is equally or more affectionate than I am. And I need someone who knows and appreciates my true value and worth. . . and sees beyond what I am on the outside and who I am on the inside. I'm not her type physically but psychologically we could probably have gotten on really well. But she keeps shutting me down and herself down and I need to let her go--so I can find someone who will truly love me as I am, exactly as I am. I'm extremely upset over this. I still love her a lot. But I need better and I need real love returned to me. If you have any stories of how you found and maintained true love after thinking you've found the "one," please, let me know. I need the support. I'm not a physically unattractive person but when I'm around her, sometimes I feel downright ugly because of the way she treats me. She doesn't talk to me as if I am her equal, or she doesn't talk to me as if I am beautiful like her. Because I'm not, I'm beautiful like me. I need someone to tell me that I am beautiful, inside and outside, in my own ways. I need something better than the little she's offered back to me. ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2015 at 11:19 PM ---------- Sometimes, I get so sad because I feel like I'm mostly gay and not as bi as I thought I was. Just the thought of ever submitting to a guy sexually doesn't appeal to me. I want to be strong and maintain power over my own body, and somehow, being with a man takes that from me. But it's not the same if it's with a woman. She's beautiful, I'm beautiful, and we together would be more beautiful. We are equals and we would be able to complete each other how a man and woman may not. That's just my opinion. I like girls. And honestly, quite a few are bicurious for me because I am feminine and masculine, simultaneously. But sometimes. . . it just gets too sad to think about how, if I'd been born another way, things would have been so much easier, life would be so much kinder, I'd have it so much simpler. But it's not meant to be. And I just feel like the burden gets to be too overwhelming sometimes.
"I have this huge crush on this girl I like. I know she's not straight, but I don't think she's attracted to me in the same way I'm attracted to her, which really hurts. I think I'd be good for her, but maybe she doesn't see it the same way." ^ this is what i'm feeling right now (( *a big, big hug for you* Good luck, i hope things go well for you dear.
Unfortunately if someone doesn't see you as a potential partner, there's not much you can do. But have you considered telling her how you feel? Maybe she's thinking the same thing you are, and doesn't want to make you uncomfortable because she doesn't know how you feel about her... You say you need to let her go. Well, maybe it's for the best. But there's always that "what if." You also mention that she doesn't express her emotions well. Maybe that's why she seems so distant (Making you think she's not interested). I'm not saying she IS interested in you, but there IS a possibility, no matter how small You certainly do deserve someone who appreciates all that you are, in every way possible. And you WILL find someone who will truly love you exactly as you are. Hang in there! I don't have a story to share about thinking I've found "the one" but I am currently in a relationship with someone who would give me the sun, moon and stars if he could. He makes me feel loved in every possible way, and loves me for who I am. My physical appearance is not important to him. He loves all of me. He's not perfect, but so far, he's one of the guys I've dated, who loves me to such an extent. So there is hope for you to also find someone who will treat you like the goddess you are, and would make you feel like the most beautiful person in existence. Perhaps she's being rude/mean/stand-offish with you because she thinks she can never be with you? I don't want to get your hopes up, but you will never know what might happen once she knows how you feel about her. I see this situation as the same thing when a boy pulls a girl's hair and tease her. He actually likes her, but he does those things so it's not too obvious, and probably because he doesn't know how she feels about him, and is trying to protect himself... There's nothing wrong with this. You're attracted to whom you're attracted to, and ultimately that's all that matters You don't necessarily have to submit to a guy sexually. You can still be in control, even if you take on a more passive role in the bedroom. You have the right to say no to things, you have a right to tell him what you want/need, and he has to respect you enough to let YOU decide what happens next. You can even take over all control. You don't necessarily have to take on a dominant role, but you don't have to be submissive either... This is very important in ANY relationship. Nobody is - or should be - superior to the other I understand exactly how you're feeling regarding your sexuality, and how it would've been easier if you were straight. I think most LGBT people wish they could fit into society's idea of how/what people should be and how they should act. But we were all made to be different. We create our own "normal" and nobody has the right to tell us that we're wrong. We're all special, no matter what other people say. It may seem like a burden, but there's a reason for everything, and that includes our sexualities or gender identities. At the end of the day, we're still people, and ought to be treated as equals. Unfortunately there will always be people opposing our lifestyle, but in all honesty, THEY'RE the ones with the problem - we shouldn't make it ours Hope this helps a little (*hug*)
Also not to give you too much hope, but I can relate to this poster's comment. When I met my current girlfriend a little over a year ago, she had just had a reaaaaally bad breakup with a girl whom she thought was the love of her life. We initially tried dating (in a very loose sense of the term - it only lasted about a week) before she found out she was in no place to be dating anyone that soon. It took her a LONG time to move on from it, and in the interim (although we remained close friends) she knew that I still liked her and attempted to keep me at arms length. In this attempt she often would put me down and make me feel worthless sometimes so I wouldn't have any false hope. Despite this dickish personality at times, we were still really good friends and she would talk to me every day. I realize I'm not making her sound like a great person lol, but we've talked about all of this by now and she absolutely knows how she acted. She was both afraid to let me get close and to let herself get close. Eventually I broke through and it's like she morphed into a completely different person. Not long after she asked me to be her girlfriend. She told me that she had "a spiritual awakening" haha. Anyways, from that point forward she's been the best girlfriend I could've asked for. Or your girl could potentially just be kind of a dick. I'd like to know how this girl acts around others who aren't you. If she acts the same way then it's probably a personality flaw. If it's just around you then either she genuinely doesn't care about you enough to be a good friend or she's trying to keep you from getting too close and she DOES like you, it's just not a good time.
