I wouldn't expect someone elses opinion to hurt so much but it's a friend that is totally lgbtq supportive. Today she flat out told me "I don't think you're gay. I wouldn't even think you're gay if you married a woman." I don't know what to do. I am gay, to the best of my knowledge. I shouldn't have to prove myself to her, but it hurts a lot that someone close would think that I'm lying? Has anyone experienced this before and/or has advice for me? :icon_sad:
Sounds like she's either in denial, or she's speaking about your character and actions. I've had friends say to me "I can't believe you're gay." Because my best friend had only known me dating girls, he was completely shocked initially, but as my coming out conversation with him continued, and I explained myself, he got it. Sometimes it takes people to process information, so that might be what's going on here. Either that or she has certain expectations of how a lesbian is supposed to act and you're not meeting that criteria she has in her head. I don't exactly "act gay" either so it's why people are generally kind of surprised when I tell them I'm gay.
That's weird, but maybe she's in a "grief" process and at the initial stage, denial (the others are anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). You should at least respond that you're sure about your sexuality, and try not to dwell on this unless she keeps bringing it up.
Sounds like she has set idea of what a gay person is, and you don't fit in the neat category she has set aside.
Your friend was very disrepectful towards you. I'm sorry. If she doesn't believe you then it's her problem not yours. I'd have a talk with her and let her know that your feelings were hurt. Though to be fair, she might also need some time to accept it. Sometimes even people who are LGBT supportive have a difficult time. They say they are accepting but when it comes to someone they actually know, they can freak out.
I have had people say that they can't believe I'm gay too,unless your freind keeps being mean i dont think you should instantly defriend them there probubly confused and a better way to deal with this is to inform them that all gays are not the same and to try not to sterriotype anyone i hope you and them will still be freinds and the best of luck to you
That is about 95% of the reactions I got when I came out to people. (I came out a bit late at 29, though, and had only been with women before). Only 2 people believed me initially (out of every single person I told). Like Guitar said, she may just need time to process, or could be a bit homophobic (I've found that some people who are very publicly pro-LGBT, actually hold lots of stereotypes of the community. Conversely, I've found many people who have been publicly homophobic, to be very understanding and non-chanlant towards the community).
