In need of support, my boyfriend tried to kill me

Hello everybody,
This is very difficult to talk about, but it is also very difficult to keep to myself and deal with alone. So I will tell you how my week has been. I'm 21 and I've been dating this man for 8 months now. I came out as pansezual polyamerous 2 years ago. I met him through a depression group therapy and he was so kind and he found me so interesting and he was so open minded but wanted to learn more, he was in the military for 10 years, he's 28 and he was a seemingly sweet, sentisitive guy. I wanted to show him love if he accepted me for who I am. I told him I had a girl that I call my wife, we have been together for almost 6 years no . We are in a romantic relationship and not usually sexual. He was intrigued and when they met they became such good friends. I loved that my wife and boyfriend got along so well. After a few months though he became very jealous, he hated when it wasn't all of us hanging out, he has no friends and only made friends with my friends. After 6 months of us dating I told him I would like to have a relationship with another girl, but it be both Romantic and sexual. He didn't like it at first but I told him that's just who I was and he always said he accepted it but when I started to want to get to know this girl he would get mad if I left the house, he would never go home and keep me home all the time, he would read my texts, Facebook messages and look to see If I wrote in my blog. He got even more controlling over time and this Monday I wanted to go see the girl I've been seeing for the past month and a half and have breakfast with her at 8am, my boyfriend was going to work, he took my phone, iPad and ps3 controlled so that I had no way of contacting anyone, he ran out my house and came back 10 minutes later with a crazy look in his eye. I grabbed my phone from him and my girl called me back, said he had called her and said that she wouldn't be seeing me today and that he sounded weird, so she wanted to check on me to make sure I was OK. I told her in code that something might happen and hung u . He grabbed the phone from me and put two knives to his throat and said if I went he would kill himself, so I grabbed them from him and said he can't do it, he took shoulders and put me in a choker hold, I couldn't breath, I remember thinking to myself that I was going to die, and something clicked on my mind and I just thought to run, I ran into my bathroom and tried to keep the door closed. He yelled "I can't believe you let the monster out" and I started calling my mother, he started banging on the door and broke one side out and I could see the look on his face and a knife in his hand, I ran out the other side out my door and down the street screaming, I called my step dad and waited at the grocery store. I had my PJs on and no shoes my feet were bleeding. I got dropped off at my girls house and she let me stay there, hours later I went back for clothes and the police were there, they tell me they found him close to my house with his throat cut, he is in the hospital as I write this. I am so afraid with my life I don't know what to do, I've talked to my mother, wife and the girl I'm seeing and a coworker that is one of my best friends. And I feel so lost, I feel dead, people keep saying they're lucky, and I'm lucky I'm still alive.. But why do I have to live with the fear, I already want to go back to being suicidal. I tried to kill myself a year ago, because I couldn't live with myself being "out" now someone I thought I loved tried to kill me for my right to love. All I asked was for acceptance and love. Why is life so evil. I'm a queer black woman, my cards have been delt. I need support on how to live past this with out damaging myself and going back into depression. Its a sick place.