Taking the final step, Need help deciding where to place my foot

Hi you guys! been a long time since I posted here, way back when during such a horrid time in my life. The days seem to get better until recently a couple of hours ago. If you read my threads that I've done in the past you will know that, a while back I met a boy whom I honestly really crushed on and almost loved. I think about him almost everyday but yet, never actually have spoken with him since my freshman year. Had him in my sophomore year in like 1 class and he barely spoke to me, or acknowledged that I exist. But in the same token I didn't speak to him. I was consumed with depression, hatred of my existence, financial problems. Thinking about him was my way out, unfortunately that's no longer proving to be a positive option that's viable to my life anymore. I was sleeping, and I was dreaming of this boy, I had a dream that I was finally telling him how I feel, expressing my thoughts of how I felt about him, how I felt about myself. Until suddenly, when I saw his face in the dream, my heart began to race, my chest started to hurt, I was breathing so hard so suddenly. I eventually woke up with my chest pounding and almost feeling like I was having a heart attack. I am pretty sure it was a panic attack, my first one ever. I never felt so terrified and afraid in my life. I am losing weight, my face is clearing up, so for something like this to happen it really has put a dent in my plans. I don't want to go back there, that place of darkness, I am already still somewhat in the darkness with at least a leg hanging outside of this black reach. I don't need any set backs. So, I thought of a final solution. Finally just messaging this guy, telling him how I feel. Then finally asking him to just tell me he doesn't like me so I can put this nightmare to rest. But I don't know how to go about doing it. So I was really hoping to get some good hints, advice from people that may have been through this situation before. This is completely my own problem, and I just want to be done with it. Simply trying to get rid of my feelings, delete my facebook, and Never see this boy again is impossible. So please if you have time, I could use the help.