well that was a fun night, not .. made contact with a local gay support group, men's one and was supposed to be meeting for a dinner out some where, meeting at a certain time and place.. I normally have something else on a friday night so canceled that and went to this.. any way got to the place, and the place had lots of people ,a few different groups here and there, but I didn't know any one or who was in charge.. so to calm my nerves i had a drink , soft drink as I don't drink. and about after 20 minutes of no one coming up to me or anything I started getting a panic attack ,haven't had one for years and decided to leave.. I felt like a blasted idiot and bawled my eyes out when I got home. dont do good in groups or crowds, hate it... not going to do that again, put myself out there for that.. life sucks as it is.. hate myself for it..:bang::bang::bang::***::***::***:
Dude don't hate yourself. It's usually custom for common goers to social events like that, especially LGBT ones, to invite new comers and make them feel welcome; it was probably just one of those odd circumstances where everyone is shy and on edge so you slipped the radar a bit. Maybe try something a bit smaller and work up to it, but don't beat yourself up.
thanks guys, questions4ever I don't think were allowed to make contact out side this site, as per that big writing up the top. .not sure on that.. the thing is ,I haven't always been like this, I was usually the happy go lucky kind of aussie bloke..but the last couple years since loss of both parents now being gone, its like I've lost my mojo , if that makes any sense...
Dont be too hard on yourself! For me, im a very shy person when im in a new enviroment but once i feel confortable enough its fine!(sometimes it takes longer than what i would like, i have just learnt to give myself time and accept that about myself) My advice to you, if it helps, is that next time you try to be the one approaching people. Either go for someone that is alone and then join together a bigger group or join directly a group of 3 people. It is said that in these situations joining a conversation of 2 can be more scary as it might seem like you are interrupting and in big groups you might be more shy to talk.. Either way, all the best of luck mate!
I've been trying ####### (on iPhone) and some hook up sites. they all just want sex sometimes younger , like 20 or so years younger than me want me to just jump in the car and meet up..I got nothing against young people, was young myself (once)! but not sure at my age if I should hook up with a 26 year old or not.. would prefer some one my own age group.. t but as much as I want that too , I want something else.. want companionship, love, friendship all that jazz.. at 45 I don't want bed hopping any more... am I just asking too much? can I ever find this? do I need to take a long swim and find it in the next life? ?
In response to your first post. My biggest issue with groups is when your the new guy in a group, it can be very intimating. Some people love meeting new people and some just stick to their clicks. But honestly one thing that I have done to meet new people is just come up to a person and ask them a question. Like "may I sit here" or complement them. Something silly like that can actually get a conversation started. Most times people who go to events like that are really willing to talk to anyone. My shyness can get in my way too, but you really just got to go out there. What you got to loose? I always talk about having a positive attitude. If you believe everything is going to turn out great, mostly likely it will. And yeah some online dating sites like that one, is probably not the best choice if you want a relationship. I've never done online dating, but I hear it is all about sex. Of course not all of them, but mostly. Have you ever thought of just joining a club or support group you have interest in? And not just people who are LGBT. You can meet unexpected people at the most unexpected of places. There are LGBT people that are not just in LGBT groups. I don't think you are asking too much. Just don't beat yourself over it, okay. A friend once told me there is 7 billion people in this world. Surely you can make friends. So it's definitely never too late.
just thought if I go to a gay group , they'd be more welcoming.. even after a week no one has called me or emailed me to see if I'm ok...
I'm almost tempted to hire a female prostitute and see if I really am gay.. but not sure I can handle going inside a vagina again, even though I still want to from time time.. I must be fruit loops..
