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unlovable and unloving

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SittinInTheDark, Oct 9, 2015.

  1. SittinInTheDark

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2014
    Messages:
    40
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    Location:
    Right Now: Minneapolis llll Usually: New York City
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm 19 and I've never been in a relationship. I've had crushes, and I nearly acted on one in high school by asking a guy to a dance. He was busy though. I avoided him afterwards. I've been on three dates since coming to college, all last year. I felt nothing on any of those dates - one with a boy and two with girls. I avoid those people now.

    Do to my weight I've never felt like someone that someone else would date. I feel like people see me as a friend, and not someone to be taken seriously. I love my body, but I hate it too. I wish my breasts and stomach were smaller. All I can think about is that want to have sex with someone, even have a relationship with someone, but no one is going to be walking down the street, see me, and say I want to have sex with that girl. I don't wear dresses because I hate the way my legs brush up against each other and cause chaffing. I can't wear button downs because they snap open over my breasts.

    I also look around at the people around me nowadays and I see people I want to be, not people I want to be with. I feel separate. People stare at me on the street, I see them. I'm not sure if it is because of my strange sunglasses or what I'm wearing or my body. I can't tell. I am terrible at reading signs from people, so I don't know who I even could ask out. I want to be with a woman but don't know who is what orientation, and I could be with a man though I'm not sure I'd want to, because I know I'm not their first choice.

    Ugh, I feel so lonely and empty all the time and I don't know what to do.:icon_redf
     
  2. Linus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    In my opinion, your physical appearance shouldn't matter. You sound like a great person. I can understand that it does matter to you, but, would you really want someone who was only into you because of how you looked? It would be false anyways. Let someone fall for you because of who you are as a person. Try dating a close friend.