I don't know what's wrong with me latley. Every day the same thing. "Your friends hate you." "You're stupid" "You can't talk to people right" "You should just run into the woods and never come back" "your pets even hate you" "Everyone would be better off without you" "You ruin everyone's life" "Everyone hates you" "You're so annoying" "You're lazy" "You're a selfish ungrateful little brat." Why am I calling myself these things? I don't understand.... I'm scared..... I've always had so much confidence, I've always loved who I was and I've never thought about changing it. Now all of a sudden I want to just dissapear. I almost started crying in school yesterday. My entire drama group had to stop blocking because I couldn't get my shit together. I just started crying again..... I spent two hours trying to remove nail polish with rubbing alcohol instead of polish remover..... I'm an idiot... I wasted so much time....my nails are a mess.... I want to fix them, but...... I don't know what's going on I feel so lonely.........
aww hey now, it's gonna be alright. Firstly, just breath. Okay. Even the darkest moments only last for so long. It all will pass. Maybe you've been having a busy week, or there is a lot going on. But try to find something positive in everyday. Like you are going to look forward to having a great time in drama class today. Something as simple as that is so important. You are none of those negative thoughts that you mention. Sometimes when I have a really :***: day I contain myself with all these negative thoughts. Or if I do something stupid or embarrassing, I think I'm the worst person ever. Even when I fail a test or something I think I'm worthless sometimes. But none of that is true. Don't buy into those negative thoughts. Your pretty amazing. I remember that thread you made in the For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People, I thought that was so cool what you said. So don't be sad. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. But believe me, there are more people than you think that really do care about you, and truly just want you to be happy. Cheer up, okay. And never loose that confidence inside you, okay.
Walk into your room, scream every last one of those thoughts into your pillow. Then pick it up and throw the thoughts away with your pillow. Alex. You are strong. We all see that. You can do it. You know you can. We all know you can.
