Okay so I'm gay in the closet and there's this guy that I've been really good friends for a while. I have recently started to really like him. In our friend group, I think everyone is straight but I'm not exactly sure about him. He's a pretty sexual guy and he is always hitting on girls and he hits on me sometimes but I think he might be joking. Some of our friends have talked about him probably being gay but they are mostly joking. Our friends and us all joke about being gay or doing gay kind of stuff like feeling each other up when we see each other or whipping out a dick as a joke. I love it but it makes me feel uncomfortable and to them it seems funny and stupid. The one I like is different. He seems to like it a lot more and does it a lot more. He's always showing off his body. Naturally I've seen every single one of my friends dicks. And they've all probably seen mine. I try to act as straight as I can and go along with their joking mainly because I fucking love it! So last night me and a couple of friends were at my house watching Netflix in my room and me, my friend Jessica, and "John" we're sitting in my couch. Me and jessica got off for a second and she grabbed a blanket and I was just grabbing the remote or something. Dallin layed out across the couch so I jumped on top of him and sat on his lap as we watched. (It was a "joke"). He didn't ask me to get off or anything so I just stayed there and got comfortable. He grabbed my hips. After a minute he asked if I was gunna get off now but he said it like a joke. I said no I'm good and he laughed. Eventually I got off and it ended up being him on one end, Jessica in the middle, and me on the other end. As we were watching one of my other friends in the room pulled out his balls and everyone laughed so I pulled my pants down to my ankles but not my underwear. It was funny to everyone so I just sat back down with my pants down. I could see John looked a bit uncomfortable as he laughed. I pulled the blanket over my lap and Jessica was under too and she started to laugh uncomfortably jokingly. (Sorry our humor is weird and not normal. Haha) John said "Jessica, I'll switch you spots if you want so you don't have to be by him haha". I said "you just wanna sit by me so you can see my dick haha". So everyone laughed but John never objected to what I said. As the night went on John and me cuddled with Jessica on opposite sides of her. Johns hand went behind Jessica's back and went all the way around to my arm where it was right by Jessica. The back of his hand layed against it. His fingers kept moving and stroking my arm. Eventually he asked who's arm it was and I told him it was mine and he laughed. Then after a few seconds he wrapped his fingers around my bicep. He squeezed a couple times and we both laughed softly but he never moved his hand away. I flexed a couple times and he didn't say anything. It felt like his fingers were feeling my arm up so I got my other hand and kinda started to stroke his fingers. Then Jessica pulled the blanket down and saw and said "awe you guys are so cute haha". So we both chuckled a little but neither of us said anything. Any of my other friends would have pulled away if they felt my arm there but he grabbed it... It was time to go after that so I started to drive John and my other friend home. I dropped my other friend off first. It was kinda quiet. John said "thanks for hanging out with me tonight bro". I said yeah no problem. He usually never says anything like that. We passed a car with a headlight out so I punched the ceiling and said "sex!" (If you have never played this game this is what it is. If there is a car headlight out you hit the ceiling and say sex, and the last one to hit loses and has to take an article of clothing off. We only play it if there is some girls in the car. And there were none so it was obviously different). He turned to me and said "well, now you gotta suck my dick." I was totally turned on instantly at the thought! I just laughed and said something like oh shit. It got quiet. God I wanted to do it. I kept looking over at him trying somehow to signal him that I liked him but idk if he noticed. He asked me if there were any new girls in my life that were special. He has NEVER asked me that before. I said no not really... I asked him the same thing and he said something about this girl probably liking him but he's not sure about it.... That's when I pulled up to his house. So I dropped him off. Anyways, sorry for the long explanation. Basically I want to know if you think hes into guys or if he's just being a funny straight guy. Could he be serious but making it a joke cuz he thinks I might be straight and is too afraid, like me? What should I do? And how do I let him know i like him without ruining our friendship if he end up being straight? Is there a way to let him know that has a loophole that I could use to go back if he doesn't return the feelings? Help please
Bruh, from what you've written he seems pretty into you. Try hanging out one on one with him and see where things go. If your comfortable, tell him your feelings for him and ask him if he feels the same way. If he says no just tell him that he was sending mixed signals.
