Hi everyone, So I've been to a therapist twice for my social anxiety. The first time was him asking me evaluation questions, and the second I may have sabotaged on my own (which I'll explain). It's free through my university, but the psych staff are overworked, so he can only see me twice a month. I wanted more sessions, so at the start of the second one, I asked for a referral somewhere. I think I sabotaged my time with him because of that. But my fault or not, I felt like he didn't get my problem at all. He kept looking for problems to solve, as if explaining things to me was the solution (HA!). Turns out his specialty is sports psychology, so now I just don't want to see him again. Other options looked too $$ for me, so now I'm stuck going back to either him, or another psychologist on their staff. There are two whose specialties fit better with me (one who does LGBT issues, and another who does anxiety--how to choose?) but I'm having a hard time getting myself to try again. :icon_redf And as stupid as it sounds, I'm afraid the original one will see me in the office and find out I've asked to see someone else. Is there anybody else here who's done therapy for social anxiety and had a good experience? This is the biggest roadblock to me coming out fully and moving on with my life, and I just want it to be over with. Thank you! (*hug*)
There's nothing wrong with changing to a new therapist if your relationship isn't working. His specialty isn't related to what you're looking for and neither is his style. Any therapist worth their salt would understand. If you can see one of the other psychologists on staff, I think you should. I went to my university's counseling services when I was a senior--for my sexuality and anxiety--and it helped a lot. The important thing was that I trusted my counselor and we had a solid therapeutic relationship.
I would pick the one who specializes in LGBT issues. I think they all treat anxiety to some degree or another but not all of them deeply understand gay issues. And having gay issues could be adding to your anxiety...possibly... I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings by seeing someone else. It happens, not all therapists are right for every person. And since he's that overworked anyway I doubt he'd care.
I was worried that since my anxiety issues seem so deeply rooted in me, the LGBT specialist wouldn't be effective enough. But I think you have a point about gay issues being involved. Thanks for the advice, friends! (&&&)
I switched therapists a little over a year ago because I wasn't happy with what I was getting from my old one. The good thing about a university counseling center is they have a big staff and should be able to find you a good option in-house. However, if you're not happy with anyone there, they may be able to make a referral to someone in the community, and you can see if they accept your insurance. In general, most therapists are used to treating anxiety, as it's a fairly common reason people seek treatment. If you can find someone who specializes in LGBT issues, they'll almost definitely be able to help with the anxiety too.
The relationship you have with a therapist is really important and you will only get something out of the process if you are able to trust him/her enough to talk about your feelings. If you are unsure about the therapist it's totally okay to seek another one because you must have confidence in the person you are talking to. Any decent, professional therapist will understand that the first session is actually a two-way street, where both parties make an assessment of the other and it doesn't always work out. Doesn't mean you should give up altogether or worry about offending the original therapist. He should be more than capable of handling the disappointment (if that's even what it is). Think about yourself and do what's right for you.
So they're making me do an "exit session" with the original psychologist before I can see the one I requested. This isn't going to be awkward and cause me all sorts of anxiety...
That is...really uncomfortable. But it's like others have already said, any good therapist understands that sometimes they're just not the best match for the patient. That said, I have encountered my fair share of bad, petty therapists :dry: If you explain to him that you found someone who specializes in LGBT issues and that that's really important to you, he shouldn't fault you. It's just not his specialty, right? If he does make you feel anxious about it, maybe that's something you can discuss with your new therapist
