well i fell really really hard for this girl that i was talking to for almost a year, and its been three weeks now.since we last talked..i feel like im finally realizing that she never cared about me and.everything she said mustve been bullshit..it just kills me.how can i give sumbody my complete all and them not even bat an eye..thats how i feel anyway..idk if she even thinks about me but she did try to call me the other night at 2am then hung up after like the second ring..i figured A) she was probly drunk and B) having a fight with her gf (seemed thats the only time she ever did call)and(yea she had a gf the.whole time, she was with her since she was 14 but said she wasnt into her anymore but it was hard.to let go cuz she was her first love and.i guess i believed her but even.moreso i believed that she was into me how i was into her, she told me alot why.wouldnt i trust it.. .) and lastly i thought it was probly an accident she called..so i waited to see if shed leave a message or text but she never did..idk i kno i need to let go its just really hard to except.things for what they are and a part of me still hopes shell come.back and another part that wonders if.thats such a good idea...i realize now that it was sortof an unhealthy relationship, the way she (i wouldnt say "used" me cuz i was glad to help her in any way i could and.still am but i do feel like i was just the one who was there to.fill the void her gf no longer filled..like when shed send me intimate pictures, but one day told.me her gf no longer touched her, was she sending me them so that i.could tell her how beautiful she was when her gf no longer did...to sortof reassure her of herself...perhaps this was unconsciencously and thats why i dont hold anything against her but i do feel bad that i did this to.myself and lost myself in the process..i mean i miss the.girl so damn much and maybe it was the idea that i saw how broken she felt in herself and.i know how broken i.feel in myself i guess i thought we.were meant to be so we could help eachother get where we want to be together..like fix eachother..i kno this may not be.right but i felt deep anyway...now i guess its just hard to pull myself out of this when i feel like a piece of me is missing...idk im sorry this is so long.i.just feel really lost and empty..and i guess ugly and worthless as well..thinking maybe if i was prettier or more social and full of happiness, less depressed and reserved she wouldve stuck around..
Is she back with her girlfriend then? If she is I'd walk away, she hasn't contacted you in 3 weeks and a call at 2am doesn't really count sounds like she was leading you on. Are you out to her? Did you tell her how you felt about her? If she's shut you off after knowing all that then I would personally move on and find someone else. If she was messaging you behind her girlfriends back then that's nasty, she should of spoken to her girlfriend about the problems or split from her not been leading you on Sorry to sound blunt but that's what I think
shes been back.with her gf..when we firat started talking i guess they were broken up but i think now it was a lie and.shes been with her even since then..i guess it was wrong of me to.continue talking to her after i found out they were together..she led me on big time...how.fuked up can girls be, damn...i guess im getting over it slowly its just gonna take alittle more time..in the meanwhile ive.been focusing on my self esteem and confidence..anybody have any tips?
