1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Really good news, really bad news

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Grounded Eagle, Oct 23, 2015.

  1. Grounded Eagle

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2013
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Eastern US
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As a follow up to my previous post about being afraid to come out to my gay friends at college: Yesterday one of them invited me to "hang out." I had a feeling she was basically inviting me to come out to her (she took me for coffee in a lounge right across from the LGBTQ center on campus). She never pushed, hinted, or anything--just gave me a safe place to open up. And I did! I managed to tell her at last, and I feel so good. I'm so happy to finally have a friend like her.

    And then today I went to get my haircut. I have (had) nice, longish curly hair, and I asked the barber to cut it a little shorter, "maybe an inch [off]." Well, all he heard was an inch. Now, without any curls at all, my huge forehead is exposed and I feel incredibly ugly. I don't want to show my face to anyone I know for a month (which is not possible). I'm so depressed. I feel like that was the only thing that made me like how I look...
     
  2. Monraffe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2014
    Messages:
    418
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Okay, you aren't going to like this reply but that's never stopped me.:lol: I think you should use this unfortunate incident as an opportunity to learn something about yourself. More specifically, learn something about how others really view you and what that really means to you. I assume the hair stylist didn't butcher your hair, that is, even though they didn't do what you wanted it is still a professional cut. So even though it makes you look ugly (taking your word for it) no one is necessarily going to know it is an accident. They will just think you made a bad decision and here is where the opportunity comes in. Keep putting yourself out there as though nothing is wrong. Then compare the difference between how people view you now when you are ugly to how they view you as you progressively become become beautiful again. If they like you for your personality you shouldn't notice much difference. If they like you for your looks you should see a big difference. It's an experiment you would never do intentionally but since you have the opportunity you might as well take advantage of it and learn something about yourself you didn't know before.
     
  3. Grounded Eagle

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2013
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Eastern US
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Monraffe, I will take your very good advice to heart. And thank you for not saying "well, it will grow back!" When people say that it just makes me more depressed.

    The few friends that I have (social anxiety) probably won't treat me differently, it's just everyone in my classes seeing me for the first time and commenting (or not commenting) that I'm dreading. This actually isn't the first time I've been through this. It happened when I was 16 or 17, and was just as embarrassing back then.