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How to approach a guy I don't even know?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by eightisgreat, Oct 23, 2015.

  1. eightisgreat

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    Hey everyone!

    I'm second year of college and there is this guy who I find really cute. He is the same year as me, but I barely see him as we are not in the same programe. I did see him more often in first year as we had some subjects together.

    Anyway I can't get my eyes off him. He is beautiful and I somehow think he might be gay. The way he walks, holds his hands and takes care of himself (he is always nicely shaved, dressed...) is giving me these signals. BUT my gaydar is really bad. Usually all the guys I thought are gay, are not. Even some guy who I was certain that is gay, is just metro.

    Anyway back to topic.
    I don't even know this guy and I don't know if he is gay or straight.

    How do you guys (or gals) approach someone you like? Should I just go up to him and talk? Add him on facebook maybe? I mean, I'm kinda scared he might be disgusted and that would break me. It wouldn't be bad if he is straight, I mean I'm having expectations low.
    But I'm just scared he might get angry.

    So what should I do?
    I just don't wanna only use gay apps. I only found people who want sex. But how do you do it in person?
     
  2. PennyMonkey96

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    Just go up and talk to him. Get to know him. If it's easier try to look for common ground, something you both like and talk about that. Just treat him as a new friend not someone you're trying to get with. Hope that helped.
     
  3. eightisgreat

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    But what should I say to him? It's not that I'm shy or anything, but it's even easier to strike a convo with my schoolmates who I don't even hang as much. You know cuz usually we talk abouy college first and it goes on from there.

    But this is a guy I don't even know. XP
     
  4. eightisgreat

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    Shameful bump. :frowning2: :l
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! I wouldn't add him on facebook at this point. The next time you see him, you could try going up to him and try saying to him 'hi,' and see what his reaction is. In a way you already have a good way into the conversation given that you had a couple of classes/subjects with him.

    You could try saying to him "I remember you from last year. We had some subjects together. What did you think about them?" :slight_smile:
     
  6. RainbowGreen

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    You could do the usual ''What did we have to do for this class?'' approach. Afterwards, keep on talking as the ice will already have been broken.
     
  7. eightisgreat

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    Why do you think I shouln't add him on fb? I thought it's easier to do it that way.

    And yes I will probably try that if I see him. My class' and his schedules are really different, so it'll be kinda hard.

    Also are there maybe any signs he might be gay? Ofc I won't just go up to him and ask: yo u gay?
    That's why I'm also keeping my expectations low

    ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2015 at 03:16 AM ----------

    That's the problem. We only had same classes last year, not this. :S

    Also it's hard approachi people in college since everyone has a group of people they talk to. :/
     
  8. Mirko

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    Hi there! When it comes to adding him on facebook, I guess it depends on what you want to get out it. Often times, people will add someone on facebook, but don't really communicate with them, or don't get to know them in a meaningful way.

    Will he remember you if you would simply add him on facebook? Not sure. He might accept, or he might not - reason why an in-person meeting first, would probably be better. Even if he adds you, you still be faced with the task of having to ask him if he wants to get together, or initiate some conversation, if he doesn't.

    The only true sign of him being gay or having an interest in you, would be for him to tell you.

    Do you know his class schedule?
     
  9. eightisgreat

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    I see. That's actually right. XD People just add you then don't even talk haha.

    I do know the schedule, yes. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Mirko

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    Thinking some more about it, and given that you feel it would be okay to add him on facebook, you can try it. Once he adds you, try sending him a message and ask if he would be willing to get together during a break or after a class. You can introduce yourself, and let him know, how you know him, and take it from there. :slight_smile:
     
  11. lilla

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    Can you check his fb profile to see if you have any mutual friends who might be able to help you get in touch with him? If you have a friend/acquaintance in common, maybe they would be willing to help you plan something to do as a group and they could invite the guy along and introduce the two of you...
     
  12. eightisgreat

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    The thing is we have no mutual friends and also I really rarely see him in college atm. Idk why.

    I did find him on some site called couchsurfing xD He introduced himself as a really open minded person, who likes to make new friends. xD He might really be a cool guy.
     
  13. lilla

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    Maybe you could send him a message on couchsurfing and just keep it light... something about how you were on the site and you came across his profile and noticed that you guys go to the same school/live in the area/you think you might recognize him from campus and you guys should hang out sometime. It sounds like there's not much to lose by reaching out to him, since you don't see him often so it hopefully shouldn't be too awkward if it doesn't work out.