It has been brought to my attention by numerous people IRL that I'm very quiet, and it bothers me. I used to be very talkative, maybe a bit too much, but as my confidence started to drop, so has my talking. Now, I rarely speak exept when spoken to, out of fear of interrupting, being a bother, being out-of-subject or just weird/awkward, and it's starting to become a problem. I want to break out of it, but I don't know how. I'm trying my best to come up with things to say, but more often than not, I'm not thinking fast enough and the conversation has moved on beofre I get a chance to open my mouth at the right time. Even online, it's hard for me to keep a conversation going, so I just end up asking the standard questions like "how are you?" and "what are you doing?". I try to ask questions about the things people tell me, and I try to make comments about my surroundings, like "it's cold" or "man, these pumpkin lanterns we've got have seen better days", but it's hard, and I don't want to just spout out the obvious or seem like I'm trying to hard. My mind is filled with what-ifs. What if the other person thinks I'm talking too much? Or about the wrong things? Anyways. Any good advice on how to break out of it?
Instead of general statements like "it's cold" Try asking more questions. As the person answers, listen, and try to think of another question. That might get the ball rolling a little better. Expressing genuine curiosity in a subject that the other person is clearly interested will make the person feel like you care about their opinions. Most people like to talk about themselves and things they are interested in. Also, try to find common ground as well. Things that you and the other person are both really interested in, like your favorite sport, or TV show. If they disagree with you on an opinion, it does not mean that they don't like you anymore. As long as you don't offend anyone, you can't really say the wrong thing. And you said it yourself, people don't think you talk enough, so they clearly want to know if you have something to say. If the other person thinks you're talking too much, you should be able to tell because they'll most likely just stop paying attention to you, but I don't think that will happen until you start talking a little more! Hope this was helpful, and best of luck!! P.S. If you become a full member (on the homepage, if you click "Website FAQ" in the box on the left it will show you how to do that) you can use the chat room any time as practice! There's no judgment here so don't be afraid to talk too much, as long as you don't offend anyone, I'm sure whoever's on at the time would be happy to talk with you. ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2015 at 11:17 PM ---------- Oh, and avoid heavy subjects like politics and racism. Stick to simple, interesting or funny stuff like this video of a motorcyclist saving a kitten that ran into the road! https://www.facebook.com/ABC7/videos/10153151383422452/?pnref=story
I have this same problem, and it's still ongoing. I recommend not stressing about what you say. If you say something weird by accident, NO ONE WILL REMEMBER. You probably care more about what you're saying than they do. So don't stress
yea im the same.way but i realized that that is what makes me me and thete is nuthing wrong with being introverted and quiet it just means ur smarter than.most cuz u think about stuff on a deeper level..id say if u feel like ur beating urself up about this then maybe ur hanging out or trying to connect with the wrong kinds of people..try finding people who are thinkers like urself and conversations will turn into informationless jibber jabber to full on intellectual conversations, which u will find very intriging and magically u will feel u have soooo much to say..hope that helps, it did for.me so.,.good.luck
Lol I wish. I can't tolerate alcohol very well, and I always end up puking and/or falling asleep :/ Another problem I have is that I just don't feel like what I have to say is important, nor relevant. But I'm trying my best these days to try and say something anyways.
While likely intended as a joke no doubt I feel like I need to point out that drinking to deal with a problem isn't really a good option. You're solving one problem and putting another in its place. Reliance on a drug. I know, I know. But still it should be mentioned.
