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How to deal with work stress when working with your friends

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Erzulie, Oct 26, 2015.

  1. Erzulie

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    I just started a new job a few weeks ago, and my best friend works there full time. I'm just there as extra hands right now, and she's a lot more experienced than me. Everyone is really stressed right now, and her boss is taking stress out on her by talking to her very rudely, and pretty much making her feel stupid. That sometimes trickles down to me, but I internalize it a lot more than she does. She usually gets frustrated and angry, (which she has every right to be) but I feel like if I give even the slightest hint that something is wrong, she can tell. I don't want to talk to her about this. I've worked with her in a setting like this, and I'll get over it. I just need some positive advice right now. Should I tell her what's going on? I'm pretty sure if I do, it's going to make her feel worse about herself, and that's not what I want at all. It's kind of turned into a similar situation of where people tell you not to live with your best friends because it might drive a wedge between you, but it's really our boss that's the root of the problem. I'm trying my best to be there for her at work, but I'm afraid I might say or do the wrong thing. Help!:icon_sad:
     
  2. Gravity

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    To be totally honest, I'm not sure why you *wouldn't* say anything. It seems like everyone else at the job is venting their frustration - why don't you get to, as well? And, as you say, if the root of the problem is the boss, and your friend's not getting frustrated/upset for reasons of her own that have nothing to do with the job, then why would she take it personally?

    I think it sounds like a less-than-ideal job and situation to begin with, and if you feel like you can't function in it as you normally would because of your friend, on top of everything else, then it might be worth your while to start looking for something new. But in the meantime, you work there too, and you're involved in the situation same as everyone. I think you have the right to voice your thoughts on the issue. It could even help!
     
  3. Erzulie

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    Just an update. After my last day there we got to hang out (we hadn't really hung out in a while, just us) and had a major venting session. We vented about our boss for like close to 2 hours, but I think both of us really needed to. I feel a lot better after that. I'm actually really glad that I could work with her the past few weeks, so she could have someone who really understands what she's going through first hand, and tell her that it's not all in her head.