In class today my group has a discussion on a social issue that we can choose to work on for our assignment. I took all my courage and suggested LGBT rights issues, but then one girl in the group were against it, saying it is "sensitive" and that it might be "offensive" (we are working on a PR project so those are valid concern, but still..., it feels like she is the one being offended than anything) We debated for a while, but then she said "can we really understand them? we have no experience in this. we don't know how they really are or what their problem is." And I was stumped. I am not out. I don't want to be outed like this. But it feels so frustrating. I am a part of the LGBT family, and yet in this moment, I stayed silent. I feel like I betrayed everyone here. I feel like I should have stood up and say in her face that I have the experience and understanding because I am one. But I did not. I hate myself.
I think that you are not a coward at all. In fact I think you are a brave person. If I had been in your situation, I would never have took the courage to suggest talking about LGBT rights. I am not out to everybody and for me it would be uncomfortable talking about something LGBT related with people who don't know that I'm gay. What you did it's completely understandable. You were not prepared to come out at that moment and, personally, I think that that would have been a very difficult way to come out. In addition, I think that your classmate has shown a big lack empathy and consideration. She should have considered that there could be LGBT people in the group who were not out (and maybe you were not the only one). But that's her problem. That wasn't a big deal, trust me. Don't feel bad because of that.
Be gentle on yourself -- you don't owe anyone anything, especially with regard to coming out. It sucks that you were in a position where you wanted to say something and were in an environment that you didn't feel comfortable speaking up, though. I really hope that one day you'll be surrounded by more understanding people and that you'll be able to say the things you want to say. But using discretion in what you say, and when, and to whom, doesn't make you a coward and it certainly doesn't mean that you've failed anyone (and sometimes you just have to pick your battles according to what you feel like you can do on any given time!). Just keep being kind to yourself.
