Ok ok ok, a lot has happened since I was last here and if stuff doesn't make sense I've been really tired lately (even fell asleep on the bus). Ok so I first wanted to talk about my stepdad. Recently he made a smart rinark luke usual and me letting my pissed off self said something that came off disrespectful. I then refused to apologize twice and upset my mother. Not only this but it's hard explaining all of this anger and depression I have inside without telling them the one crucial detail... However my mom did finally book me a therapist and f*ck I'm scared. It's one thing to tell someone you know your secrets, and another to tell a stranger. What if I don't like how he works? What if he's too unrelatable? I'm terrified and don't know what to do. My depression has somewhat internally calmed down by occupying myself by reading books and watching Netflix but even those shows and books can sometimes hit too close to home. So I just came here from an overdue "vacation" to explain and maybe get back to meeting all you lovelies!:icon_bigg(*hug*)
If you don't connect with him then you need to ask your mom to help you find a new therapist. You should know pretty quickly, after just a few sessions. Give him a chance though and don't feel like you have to tell him all your secrets at once. As your relationship builds you can slowly tell him more and more things. And by then he won't be a stranger.
Thanks... I don't know if I'll ever get to see him however my moms busy all the time... I'm sad right now crying in bed I don't really know how my life got so f*cked up. I'm feeling so weird like I'm going to throw up and die.
In a way, I think it might be easier talking to strangers. I mean, if it's a classmate who I don't know too well, I really don't want them to think I'm a weirdo. But what does it matter what the stranger on the bus thinks about you? If they don't like you, fine, you won't have to see them again, right? You have the right to get a new therapist if that's what's needed, so what the heck. Don't skip it, give it a chance .
