People keep bring up pregnancy with me due to the fear of me being with roommate’s I’m not even sexually active and if i was it isn’t like i wouldn’t be safe or it’s anyone's business. My problem isn’t so much anything other then the word pregnancy and the thought creates huge waves of dysphoria i feel like crying it’s different in a sense because it’s not as this is uncomfortable it’s just creating stress and disgust I’m not female you don’t talk about that to me let alone you don’t talk about it to me at 21 i understand. My parent’s will speak about it around people and when that was going down it aggravated me but now it’s getting under my skin and every time i say please stop They continue or every time i say “Look, I’m uncomfortable with that idea” they say yeah but every woman is uncomfortable with that (Woman, make me want to bite my lip and scream) So i said “It’s not that kind of uncomfortable, because of what i am pregnancy isn't a option” but they don’t stop whatever i say they don’t stop.....how do i have this conversation how do i get them to stop talking about this all together and realize you don’t say that to people like me? My skin feels like it’s crawling within this feeling ever sense it was mentioned again and i can’t take it much longer I’m going to freak accept i don’t know what else to do but scream something graphic to get them to understand. :bang: Do i seriously need to say the word i think i'm ftm to make it stop?!
Calm down. You aren't pregnant so no problem, bro. I can completely and entirely relate to what your saying. I've witnessed lots of pregnancies (with 7 siblings and all) and got the coy looks from my mum as if she were saying, "You're next." Frankly it made me want to throw up. Because in my mind - and yours, it seems - I'm a man and men can't get pregnant. If I even thought of it for a second, a wave of nausea would pass through me and my brain would register "incompatible!" Perhaps you could tell them that you don't intend on ever getting pregnant. This is sort of what I've done with my family, saying things like "I won't have children" in future. At least not the old-fashioned way. My point being, you shouldn't have to fee like the only way to get out of squeamish conversations is to come out prematurely. If you aren't read to come out, then don't. Sometimes the simple matter is that we transguys need to bear certain burdens of misunderstanding, especially early in transition. People don't get it, and they don't know you're a guy. So they're going to treat you with the same expectations as they would a female since that's what's natural for them to do. They aren't trying to personally attack us, usually. The way I look at it is like this - and the following is more of a general philosophy for me. Some people are inconsiderate arses. That's just reality. And you know what? We cannot let these inconsiderate arses control our lives and dictate our happiness. It is a known fact that one cannot control what other people do or say (telepathics and Kaiser excluded). We can only control how we react to it. If someone insists that you're getting pregnant, shrug it off. They don't know what they're talking about and you can't let it get to you. It's like, being offended if a little kid runs up to you and says "You're fat!" when in fact you know you are not fat. It's not true, so why do we act like it is? Keep strong, brother.
To be honest i haven't decided if i'm trans and my parent's know me and understand me as fluid i said that because my plan was to never tell them beyond what i know they can't handle. I have told them a million or more times to stop and that i don't want kids and if i do i'll adopt, but they continue to talk about it with me as a possibility and when my mother and father has been told i'm fluid and not interested in that.
Parents and grandparents can get really stupid on this subject and they will make everyone uncomfortable whether they are LGBT or straight. I had a good friend who her and her husband really wanted to have a baby but there was a lot of difficulty. She would ask her family to stop asking when they were going to have a baby but they just kept on. They finally were able to have a child but I think there are still some ill feelings towards the family. I think you almost have to get a little mean about it. Seeing the next generation come to pass is important and they won't let it go unless you "knock some sense" into them. Think of a fun creative way to make the situation really uncomfortable the next time they bring it up with you. Something like when they start in you say "Yeah, getting pregnant sounds like a great idea!" Then call one of your buddies, in front of your parents, and tell them to hurry over because you need to get pregnant right away. Oh, and bring his friends because your parents are in a hurry to have this done already.
I'm sorry if I used the wrong gender for you in my comment, I meant no disrespect. I get the pain of having no friendships and no one to call on. Not to redirect the conversation toward myself, but I don't have anyone either. No friends, with a family so distant yet simultaneously suffocating. I don't talk about my feelings to anyone, ever. The only reason I came to EC is so that I'd have a place to breathe for once - and honestly "be myself." I could retain anonymity, and still get the emotional support I needed. Why am I saying this? If you're lonely and struggling, I get that. There are some seasons in life where you are all you have - and it's during those times that you have to persevere more than ever. But you'll come out stronger for it. You have to learn to free yourself from dependency on others' acceptance. If their words, laced with misunderstanding and stubbornness, are hurting you - let go of them. That's all it takes. Just let go. We can't control what others do, nor is it productive for us to dwell on what others "should" do. Take ownership of your circumstances and make change happen. If the only way for you to reconcile this discomfort is by telling your family why you don't want children, then make a plan to come out to them. Otherwise - if you keep holding on to this and hoping for things to change on their own - you could end up worse off. You'll get through this, I'm confident of it.
That was just one idea. Of course you could always just act like you're calling a guy friend. The point is just to flip the discomfort onto them and have fun while doing it. My mom never bothered my sisters and I about having kids because we would constantly be messing with her and start rumors that someone was pregnant. When I was stationed in Japan they used to tell her they had heard I got a Japanese girl pregnant. My poor mother.....eventually I made up for it and had a bunch of kids. So, instead of resisting it and you being uncomfortable, run with it. Run with it and make it super uncomfortable for them and enjoy watching them squirm. Please realize I do have an odd sense of humor.
No it didn't feel disrespectful at all i fuck up pronouns so if that's disrespectful well damn lol xD
