How did you cope with the sense of shame and insecurity? I am asking because I am such an insecure person when comes to relationship and I have so much shame about myself. Can you tell me if being Gay and in the closet have some kind of relationship? I denaid my sexuality for so long that I would like to know if this can be over of the reason!
I would put thoughts of relationships aside for now and focus on accepting yourself for who you are first. One step at a time. You have to unlearn that being gay is shameful. It's not an easy task. Expect it to take months to get past this. Be patient with yourself. The key to overcoming guilt is forgiveness. Allow yourself to feel shame. It's where you are at right now. Blocking those feelings won't get rid of them. Accept that this is where you are at right now. You are going to support and love yourself no matter what happens, even if you never get rid of the shame. Accepting that will help you with your insecurity. Insecurity is easier to deal with than shame. Shame has to be unlearned which can be really hard. I know you want a relationship but no gay guy wants to be with a guy who feels shame for being gay so accept that you won't find anyone for now and work on getting rid of shame first. It might be easier to accept others for being gay than it is for yourself. A lot of guys get over feeling shameful about being gay though admiration of other gay people. So, bring some gay friends into your life. Don't go for sex first, that will only mess you up. And don't fall in love either. Form friendships with gay men. When you feel good about being friends with them your shame should start to deminish. Be patient, this is a long process.
