I don't understand why so many people are against Asexauls and why do people refuse to be in a relationship with them because they identify as asexual? Is sex that important to people?
Yes, sex is very important to a lot of people. Including me. I couldn't be in a relationship with an asexual.
What hapa said. If one person wants sex and the other does not then a relationship can't work. Both people have to want to same thing. If you are asexual then that is perfectly fine. You just have to date another asexual person.
I am in a relationship with a demisexual and honestly I have always had a pretty high libido. For the most part I don't really get... the feeling that she loves me enough to want me in that way. And she feels like I'm using her. I have lowered my libido over time for her but... it's a point of contention sometimes. So imagine how unloved someone woukd feel if they NEVER felt worthy of being touched
Resident ace reporting in! B^) I've been with (sexual) hetero males, and that was a different story. They tried to "fix" me, told me I was "lying" about my sexuality and tried to guilt me by saying if I loved them I'd be more sexual. And, well, let's just say there was sexual abusive involved as well. Now I'm with a (sexual) lesbian and we are very happy with one another. She is very understanding and loves me for who I am. My sexuality is not an issue for her. The point I'm trying to make here... is it varies person to person! The truth is, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship with an asexual. Everyone has their own needs and desires. That's just how things go. This isn't true and you don't really have the right to tell all asexual people who they can and can't date. If you can't date an asexual that is one thing, feel free to speak for yourself, but you can't tell a whole community of people they "just have to date another asexual person." I'm going to address with in a general sense, not to you specifically, because I can't speak on your personal relationship. However, since this is a common mindset and something I've personally dealt with, I'm going to comment on the general mindset. Asexuals can't help that they don't have sexual desires; it's not about how much they love their partner. Imagine feeling like your partner could never understand your sexuality and instead makes it about themselves? It's perfectly understandable to not be happy with an asexual person, as a sexual person can't help their desire for sex, but understand that another person's sexuality has nothing to really do with anyone else but themselves.
Personally I couldnt be in a relationship with an asexual, because, for me, sex is an important part of a relationship. Relationships fluctuate and so does sex drive, but no sex at all? I'm sorry, but no.
Yes. Absolutely. Sexual people consider sex to be an important part of relationships. For me, it seems like a way to become closer to someone. If I had a girlfriend/wife, I would feel sad if she didn't return my sexual feelings, just like if she didn't return my romantic ones. The relationship simply would not work.
Ryde, I think you misunderstood what I said. Asexual people date other asexual people because neither wants a sexual relationship. How can an asexual person date a sexual person without running into conflict? It makes sense for asexual people to date eachother. You have a sexual partner and she is okay with no sex but what happens if in the future she does want sex?
Sex is the glue in a relationship, so yes it is absolutely that important. I can't go a second more than 3 days without masterbating, yes of course as you get older there is less and less sex. But no sex at all? Ever? Nope.
I did misread what you originally said and hyper focused on the last part so I do apologize for that! I do see what you're saying but I think it's not always that black and white. Asexuality varies depending on the individual. Some people are completely sex repulsed and would never have sex, some will have sex just for their partner even though that don't have an innate desire for it themselves, some fall in the gray-a spectrum. I would reckon that the same could be said about some sexual individuals--? My partner doesn't identify with being on the ace spectrum and she is happy without sex. I do completely agree and understand that many sexual people wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship that doesn't sexually satisfy them! I just feel invalidated and sad when people seem to think that these relationships could never work and shouldn't be attempted, as, well, I'm in one myself and know others who are as well.
^ Thank you for informing me about the asexuality spectrum. I wish you and your partner much happiness
I'm not asexual and I would have no issues being in a relationship with an asexual person, honestly. As long as: a) I still had the freedom to "make myself happy" when I need to b)there would still need to be a bare minimum of kissing/cuddling. something to at least give me a sense of intimacy, and a sense that I'm sharing something with the person that nobody else is. Does that make sense?
I'm not asexual and I would have no issues being in a relationship with an asexual person, honestly. As long as: a) I still had the freedom to "make myself happy" when I need to b)there would still need to be a bare minimum of kissing/cuddling. something to at least give me a sense of intimacy, and a sense that I'm sharing something with the person that nobody else is. Does that make sense?
I am not against asexuals, but I don't feel like I could be in a relationship in one. When it comes to sex, I find pleasure in pleasuring the other person, so if that person isn't enjoying themselves whatsoever, I'm going to feel unwanted or inefficient. I also have an above average libido to be honest, so I think I'd be miserable if I couldn't have sex often.
Personally, I could go without sex and be perfectly content in a relationship. I'd be fine dating an asexual.
Interesting... Well for a long while, I identified as ace, and am still "on the fence" about it. The only reason why I took up the label "gay" is because I am indeed attracted to men, but moreso in a sensual as opposed to sexual way. That said, I could absolutely (and would even prefer) to date an asexual. I hardly care about sex, and the less pressure to perform sexually the better for me. I think it would be an interesting and different dynamic in a romantic relationship if sex weren't involved. However, this is not at all the case for most people. Sex is a pivotal aspect and very important - both emotionally and physically. For that reason I do agree with above posters in the sense that asexual people would be better suited to date other asexuals (or at least pseudo-asexuals). And sexual people would be most often better suited to date other sexual people. Personally, I feel a bit caught between both sides with this. For example, if I were to date an asexual person that I found attractive and even arousing (which is rare for me, but does happen quite strongly sometimes) I'd feel... a bit let down that sex could never be an aspect of our relationship. In other words, I would at least want to try it out. But I could never do that if it meant the other person wasn't enjoying it too - it's gotta be mutual. Then, if I were dating someone with a really high libido - that would be a lot of pressure on me that I otherwise could live without. It'd be selfish of me to insist on a "no sex" policy when it's someone that I care about and want to have a romantic relationship with.
