Hi! So, I have a couple concerns about binders. What I have been binding with for a couple months now are a few sports bras, but since I'm a bigger chested person, that barely helps to curb my dysphoria. I am looking to apply for a free binder from In A Bind when the next cycle to apply rolls around, but I have a few concerns: firstly, I am not out to either one of my parents because I am still very scared that they won't believe me/take me seriously. Secondly, since I am not out to them yet, I am not sure how to get the binder without them noticing the package. I could have it delivered to a different house, but my only friend ( well, my girlfriend to be exact ) lives about 40 miles away and we barely get to see each other. Are there any ways I may be able to cover up the fact that I received a package in the mail depending on how it comes? Also, I may be able to hold off on getting the binder since my other more distant friend may give me his old one, but it is so torn up and he is only giving it to me to help curb some of the dysphoria while I wait to get a better one, but he doesn't know when he will be able to get it to me. My last question is this: how can I wear a binder without my parents noticing? I know that's a stupid question since my chest will obviously be flat, but I can't be the only one who isn't out to their parents and secretly wears a binder...? Any answers will be greatly appreciated!!
Hey I'm feeling with you. I'd also like to get a binder and just see how i'll feel with it and I don't want my parents to get suspicious about my gender identity either. So, what you could do to get one, is asking one of your friends, you came out to, to order it to their house. Or, if you like anime, you could order it to your house and if it arrives while your parents are not at home, it's fine and you could hide it somewhere or if they notice, you could tell them, you wanted it because you need it for a male cosplay (that's how I'll do it). But Idk how you could wear it without being noticed by your parents. Maybe you could put it in your bag before leaving the house and then put it on in some toilet or something and before coming home you could take it off again. I'm just wearing a sportsbra under a jumper right now (obviously, because it's winter haha) and due to not having a large breast size, it won't make such a huge difference if I start wearing a binder, that someone will notice right away, but I think I will feel better. But I don't know if that would work for you as you said you have a bigger chest.
As for the binder delivery, you could get it sent to your girlfriend's house if you're really worried about parents. Even if you can't see her often, at least it's a guarantee that you'll be getting it safely. When it comes to wearing it, here's what I do. You're still in school, and assuming you'd wear your binder to school, that there is about 8 hours. You're not supposed to wear a binder for much longer than that, so you could take it off as soon as you got home and your parents wouldn't know. It sucks having to put your boobs back on after school, but you don't want those medical complications. While I'm at it, I might as well talk about washing the binder, because you'll have to be sneaky about that too. You can't throw it in with regular laundry, it can not go through the dryer, or you'll ruin it. The best thing to do (in my experience) is hand wash it in cold water, maybe a little soap, and leave it to dry (you could put it in the back of a closet). I have the luxury of being out to my mom, so I can throw it in a 15 minute cold/cold wash cycle in her washer with no soap. I figured I'd bring up the washing thing because I know that that was the last thing on my mind when I had the opportunity to get a binder! Good luck! (*hug*)
One thing I saw a post circulating around was how it's easier to get a binder (and other transition materials blah) when it's the holiday season. It's easier to pass it off as a gift for someone if most other people might be receiving and sending packages and stuff. Although, if you do mention that you're giving someone a gift for christmas then do get one for one person at least so people don't get suspicious.
Sometimes you can request to have the post office hold packages for you and they'll call you when it comes in. If you're able to get there without anyone noticing. I'll be honest, I've worn my binder around my parents a few times and they never noticed? Or they never said anything if they did. I think you'll be a lot more conscious about it than they'll be, since they probably won't be looking at your chest too much. You could also opt to only wear it when you're not home, change in store restrooms, type of thing.
