For a while my mood swings have been wild but today I completely lost it. I'm prone to getting angry but I usually bottle it and get angry in the privacy of my own room but today I cussed out my parents and my sister and it was so unexpected? Even earlier than that, on the train home I almost burst into tears for no reason. I've been feeling more and more exhausted and distressed and I don't understand what is happening to me? I'm finding it harder and harder to be around people because every little thing they do makes me so angry. Even if they're just standing there, minding their own business I just get so mad. If I'm by myself I get so ridiculously sad. Sometimes even when I'm surrounded by my closest friends I still feel so lonely? All my emotions have been incredibly extreme lately and I don't understand? My diet and sleeping patterns are the same as they've always been?
Really sorry you are having such a bad time with your moods. Sometimes it's easy to identify a reason for feeling so upset and depressed - for example a recent bereavement, but when it's hard to see a specific cause for all of the complex feelings it can lead to an increasing sense of anger and frustration. Unfortuantely, the anger pushes our mood further into the pit. In the first few lines you said that you normally bottle it and take yourself off to your room and I'm wondering if that might be one of the problems? If you don't have a good outlet for everything (even if you can't make sense of it) it just seems to magnify all of the distress. I don't know if you have access to any counselling/therapy services, but it really might help you to talk to someone in confidence. If you can be honest about what's happening with your feelings it might start to unravel some of the mixed up thoughts and messiness of it all. A mild anti-depressant might also help to bring a bit of short term stability, but it shouldn't be a substitute for talking and putting in the self work to understand what's going on. What do you think? Is any of this possible?
I can't afford to pay for therapy or counselling and I don't really have the time for it with my job. I'd ask my parents to help out with paying but this is something they've been avoiding since I asked in highschool multiple times. They think counselling/therapy is a bad idea because it shows weakness (and is a waste of time.). That's also why I bottle my emotions and take them to my room because it becomes a huge inconvenience to them.
Have you tried sports and exercise? I have found that workout (cardio) can ease lots of bottled up emotions, especially powerful ones such as anger.
Have you tried sports and exercise? I have found that workout (cardio) can ease lots of bottled up emotions, especially powerful ones such as anger.
Do you have anything you enjoy doing? Have you taken good care of partying like a pirate, or was it all work-work-work like a captain? Sports are fun, and they can help, but there is nothing like having fun. Even something as simple as going out with friends, or videogames, or doing something you love, and allow yourself to relax without taking furtive glances at the clock and feeling guilty, or as if you are 'wasting your time'. You could also get a bicycle. They are great fun, and you do a bit of sport at the same time. Some also feel that doing something artistic is very relaxing. Others write code, or sing, or whatever... ... But if something has changed, something like the way you see your life or the world around you, then you probably have legitimate reasons to feel angry. Perhaps that is the real reason, you know.
I totally feel you. It's been the same with me lately. I know this isnt helping at all, but just so you know, youre not the only one.
I used to play sport but I've been tied up with work so I don't have the time. I'm looking into getting a gym membership but budget is a bit tight so its hard to find an affordable gym with the equipment I need. Now that its summer I'm not a fan of doing out door activities unless its water sports. Unfortunately, I don't have many hobbies that I can enjoy lately, they all started to feel like chores and I guess that might be why my emotions are all over the place because I'm not enjoying things like I used to ]. My list of friends is incredibly scarce since high school and coming out so I can't really go out not to mention the ones that I do have are online friends. MayaBee: Its nice to know I'm not some complete weirdo.
