I feel like I have nowhere to go... I can't cope with either sides of my family. About 3 years ago, my sister abandoned her baby to which my mother took her child in; then my sister basically disconnected herself from our lives. Though my mother has guardianship of my niece, it is me and my other sister, who i will refer to as Leanne, who take most care of her. My mother never does anything, she just sits down and does nothing almost all day, everyday. We cook, clean, etc. Leanne and my mother scream and yell at each other a ton and as a particularly passive person, this has been frightening. My mother isn't financially responsible either. I feel like it's a stretch to even say she can support us. I have been recommended by a few to move in with my father. However, while growing up, he was the one to create homophobic ideals around me. He tells me he loves me and everything, but i feel like if I come out, he will completely reject me. That and he lives on the other end of the country. I would love to live with my father if he was okay with me being gay but I'm almost certain that he won't. Though I haven't come out yet, I think he's started to suspect. Every conversation i've had with him, he's asked me if I have a girlfriend and why I don't (claiming i'm practically surrounded by good looking girls). I'm not really old enough yet to be independent and move out, though I don't know when I ever will. To move out, I will need money to live off. To get that, I'll need a job and for the past 3 years which i've been trying to get a job, i've had no luck at all. Australia is particularly horrible with employment unless you spent X amount of years doing a course about Y- and to do those courses, i'll need money- endless circle. Sure loans and stuff are there, but how can I pay them back if i still fail at getting a job. I'd have stuffed myself up. So I don't know what to do. I can live with my Dad and try and sort living arrangements out with my niece. Though if something happens and my father finds out i'm a homosexual... It's a worrying thought. or I can continue living where I am, where I don't feel like i'm getting anywhere, living in a home with much aggression and where i'm not living a life happily or healthily. I've seen a lot of other threads with common responses like "Just wait till you're 18, you can move out" or similar. Though, as i've stated, that's a difficult thing to do. I tried to simplify my major problems a lot so I didn't ramble on and this becomes a rant or something. I understand that to many, my issues may appear on the level of a first world problem, though to me they've been pretty bad. So if any advice or even just encouragement is available what-so-ever, i'd gladly appreciate it. Thanks.
Can you find some friends and get a share house? What about work in retail? Maccas or KFC or another fast food joint? This damn govt is going to make it even harder to get the dole now too. You don't say if you are metro or regional. Expenses are cheaper if you move to a rural area, and you might be able to get farm work maybe?
I live sort of midway between Rural and Metro areas. I've applied at all the fast food places, all retail places that allow me to apply, i've applied everywhere nearby that's possible. No luck at all. Most market chains I know don't let you apply for any employment unless they SPECIFICALLY have a position open at that location. Sharing a house is a good idea. My one friend that i'm out to actually is interested in the idea. I'd still need some way to pay for things. It seems like I have to tough it out for another year or more.
It is possible to get the dole if you are unable to live with your parents - in this case homophobic father and your disconnection from your mother? Centrelink has social workers who might be able to advise you. Is there an office nearby? I know there aren't many pflag groups in Victoria, but are there any lgbt support groups near you?
The closest lgbt support group is a few towns over. I'd need to dedicate a day to going there and find an excuse as to why I wouldn't be home. A centrelink office is about 30 minutes away from me. Would they really help someone in my position out?
I would probably prefer to live with your dad. The environment around your mother´s is unhealthy for everyone in there; from your mother to your little niece. And it´s not like you are out to them, either. Your dad could provide you a stable environment and access to education until you get a decent paying job and go on with your life. Keep in mind that parents do love their children. They might not always be ready to accept homosexuality (mostly because it´s something totally new to them) but don´t doubt their feelings towards you.
