Feel so lonely and cant get into Christmas Spirit

I'm sorry about your loss, I know the feeling having lost somebody not so long ago... Wasn't my anchor, but he meant a lot to me, more than words can say...

Yes, well, I was never much into Xmas anyways, even as I was a child and the family made the whole show (and a great one by the way, they even sang and made me sing and all that).
Back then I couldn't help but thinking it's after all a christian celebration that has been poisoned by consumerism. I don't belong to neither christianity nor the cult of money, and therefore I quit doing anything weird like taking care of Xmas decoration since I moved to my own place +10 years ago.

Also when I think about all the trees that will end up dead on the streets, I get just mad again... There is some traditions that I never agreed with.

However, even if I kind of hate Xmas, I can focus on things that seem to bring joy for some reason : The arrangements other people make (as long as they don't play with real trees), the lights, some songs, some sweets... I pick up what is just pleasant to the eye, including the joy of random strangers, specially kids. For some reason to observe this joy does wonders to me, and even gets me a bit 'into the mood'. There is some music as well that is nice to hear, and the fact that people get to the streets to sing, the fact that they do get together to sing, that is wonderful to watch. My family was (still is) much into music, and wherever there is music, there is old memories.

And even if you are not a christian, you just need to love the idea of folks getting together and try to get along. You can say that when Xmas ends, they put the good intentions together with the dead trees, as a gift for the trash can, you can say then that the whole thing is an illusion... But that is what Xmas is after all : I see it as a show, not meant to be relevant as the spirit, the real message fades away each and every year...

Whatever the circumstances are, look for the lights. Even this tiny little hope that our beloved ones might be somewhere. It's hard for me to keep the idea alive, 'cause I'm not religious, but we humans of the 21th century are still using pills to try to cure people, so go figure about our knowledge of what happens after death. Perhaps we are wrong. Perhaps the energy is somewhere around, under another form, so we are not able to see it, but that doesn't mean it might be there.

Yes, I do feel very lonely when I think about the one I lost not so long ago, but I force myself to raise my head and look around. Just to look for the lights, and observe the kids happy and all the life around, you know... Takes time and patience at the beginning, but you get there eventually.

 

I understand your feelings. I feel like Scrooge on Christmas. My Grandfather died 4 years ago on my Oldests BD. Be happy you get to see your baby girl. Enjoy and smile for her. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. Two bad marriages and losing kids hurts like hell. Between Step Daughters and other things I'm minus 4 lives. Keep your head up, enjoy your daughter on Christmas, and quit worrying about your weight. I'll try to do the same plus my beard going Santa gray at 33. Hahaha.

 

I understand exactly how you feel. I lost my wife 14 months ago to brain cancer. Last year during the holidays I was numb. This year while I am no longer numb, I'm having a very difficult time....since mid-November. Can't get into the spirit. I'll put on a happy face for family the 24th & 25th and will try to get into it. But, honestly can't wait for January 2nd to be here.

 

I am sorry to hear this I would consider looking into a therapist I don't know your exact situation but it sounds like depression to me. If you only get this during the holidays it could be S.A.D. or seasonal affective disorder, if is has been since your mum died I would consider situational dysthymia. As for not getting a partner bc you are overweight that is BS you will find someone who loves you for you and doesn't care what size teeshirt you are. I really hope you reach out for help and feel better soon you don't have to feel like this forever and you wont. Stick through it you can do it I believe in you, and wish you nothing more than the best! Good luck!

 

I'm sorry *hugs*

 

Sorry to hear this. Just to let you know that you're not the only one not feeling the Christmas spirit. (*hug*)

 

Jamie, I hope the holidays were ok for you.

If not... We've got +360 days that can be amazing. I'm sure your little princess is damned proud of his dad, and loves him very much.

Take good care...